America’s Next Top Model got batsh*t crazy last night, when the girls practiced runway walking while wearing straightjackets. Seriously.

Miss Jay explained that often in couture shows, you have to walk in constricting costumes. Which is a fine explanation and all if more than a handful of past ANTM contestants have ever walked on a runway after the show.

The green van takes the girls back to the house, where Bianca calls Saleisha “borderline plus-size,” which, you know, makes me the poster child for morbid obesity.

Bianca goes on to say that she’ll “bring bitches down,” and will stoop to cutting up clothes, but don’t let the red hair fool you! She’s a real model and she can be couture!

Uh, what? Someone needs anger management classes a bit more than runway training, methinks.

A couture runway show is up next, and I’m officially in love with Victoria. She has the most interesting face in the competition other than Janet. Saleisha wins the challenge and Bianca sneers and bitches and makes me loathe her more.

The bondage theme of the episode continues with a photo shoot involving ropes and couture. You know, just another day climbing a rock wall in a designer gown. My favorites were Heather and Victoria (sorry Janet!), but the whole thing just didn’t do much for me. Read More »

As if we all needed yet another reason why Beyonce is obnoxious, watch one minute and two seconds worth of self-indulgent crap.

The ad wizards for American Express could have easily gone with a cute and fun idea like they did with Ellen’s version, but their new commercial featuring the ex Destiny’s Child star is gag worthy.

Now, let’s all throw one big, giant pity party for our girl B, cause, you know…flying to Madrid on a private jet to do a dance rehearsal, breaking a pump, wearing a designer gown that costs a bajillion dollars, these are all really unfortunate things that we can all relate to.

Good thing you have that laptop and tons of money in your American Express account, or else you wouldn’t have been able to buy a boomerang! Phew!

Now, bite me.