[Read day 4 HERE]

I have to say, this detoxing is getting in the way of my social life. Instead of watching a movie with my friends I am actually pushing for basketball games. I am even up on the Danica Patrick drama. Who is this girl?

I am up on the news, I am up on sports, I am listening to classical music, I even seriously contemplated cooking for myself. Really, who is this girl I’ve become?

Today I was busy, a little too busy to really spend much time contemplating this whole thing. Is that how some people seem to be so content with their lives when there is no romance or even the prospect of romance? They’re so busy it just doesn’t cross their minds?

I mean, even the busy professionals of Sex in The City had time for love; if there is a conscious effort made to avoid love can you just forget about it? Does it just disappear into the ether of you mind? What would it be like to go through a day completely separated from any thoughts of love, dating, or that awesome first kiss?

I know that I can’t. I think it must be encrusted on my DNA somewhere, like a mutation. It is day five and I am still a boycrazy, lovecrazy, love fool.

I would have NEVER ever known what a “MOCKtail” was had it not been for this seven day detox I’m currently on. In fact, I would have never known what it was like to come back to my bed after a night out downtown and still be sober and without a jar of peanut butter in my hand had it not been for this. I did a few things tonight that I haven’t done in since my Christian straight edge high school days and I can’t lie…I feel moderately good about myself.

1. I took the TRAIN home tonight. I can’t remember the last time I took the train home while it was dark. And this has nothing at all to do with safety. I’m just usually drunk when it’s dark and therefore, spending $20 on a cab makes a whole lotta sense. I took the train, I didn’t get lost, and I read my book and listened to Sleater-Kinney on my sober journey back to Astoria.

2. I went downtown and didn’t have a single sip of alcohol. I met up with a group of the writers here at CollegeCandy and I have to admit; the girls were supportive of my war with will power. Instead of binging on my usual wine spritzer (or whatever else a charming bartender graces my tongue with); I binged on fondue. Cheesy, delicious, non-alcoholic fondue. I ate just the right amount and when the thought of grabbing a slice of pizza occurred to me after I left the bar; I had the ability, for once, to think through the decision. Being sober, I could intelligently ascertain that I was, in fact, full, and didn’t need the calories or spent money under my belt. Read More »

Whatever you do, do not not NOT go out to a Mexican restaurant if you decide to do The Detox Diet.Toward the end of my mostly uneventful week 2, I met with a friend for dinner and went with every intention of eating plain chicken and lots of vegetables. But as someone who hates lettuce (really, it can’t possibly be food), I was tempted by grilled chicken with pineapple salsa.

The menu didn’t tell me that the meal would come with rice, beans, and vegetables and enough of it to serve three people, but it’s also my fault for not asking what exactly my meal would be comprised of.

Also, I was totally weak so when my friend ordered guacamole, I had to try some, especially she after insisted that it was the best in New York City. And I can’t say that I’ve sampled Mexican across Manhattan, but it was really damn good.

But not nearly good enough to deal with what followed. Read More »

I would have posted a daily update instead of this week one summary, but no one really wants to read this everyday:

“Oh my God, I miss coffee. I will commit a misdemeanor for diet Pepsi. Dammit, I want an effing cookie. Sugaaaaar. Asouiryth494p…!”

First, I will confess my diet sin: I had a shot on Saturday night. It’s hard being the sober girl at the bar. Sorry, Detox Doc Haas, it’s against my religion to turn down a free drink from a cute bartender.

In my first week sans sugar, nuts, dairy, soy, wheat, eggs and corn, I decided that staying strictly on the diet meal by meal is impossible for anyone who stays up late into the night, has a fast metabolism, enjoys working out or some combination thereof. Since I fall into all three categories, I have modified my eating plan.

I eat 4 ounces of protein at lunch with my veggies and up to 6 ounces at dinner. My cut off time for eating is 8 p.m. instead of 6 p.m. and I eat a piece of fruit as a snack. I also eat an extra piece of fruit in the morning after my oats.

Speaking of oats: if you decide to eat oatmeal when you follow this plan, don’t microwave those bad boys. Don’t. It has the consistency of wall paper paste. That mistake on the morning of day two made me think too fondly of my ‘coffee is a meal’ days. Read More »

• Don’t exercise? No problem!

• Apparently, leotards can we worn the right way…

• USA Today’s resident “cool girl” tells us all about quirky, unique gifts to get those people you only kind of know or forgot about till just now, this holiday season

• Rolling Stone ranks the top 100 songs from 2007

• Never smell again! Cleansing from the inside out! Seriously.