Recappin\' The Hills...

So, I was gone for a few weeks and
missed out on a lot of Hills recapping.
I was so excited to get back into it…
until I actually watched tonight’s totally
sucky episode. Like most episodes of
The Hills, nothing really happened. In
fact, the entire show can be broken
down into two sentences:
Lauren and Audrina make up.
Spencer acts like a douche in
front of his Nana. Read More...

Next: Undergrad Boys or Grad Men?
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Shopping for a Sugar Daddy

My Sex Diary made me come to terms with a heretofore unrealized love for older men. There is that horrible stereotype about men aging better than women, and although I won’t speak for older women, I can absolutely attest to the fact that many guys seem to go the way of the fine wine and age deliciously. I’m in the market for an (imaginary) sugar daddy. Let’s go shopping.

mike rowe.jpg

Mike Rowe-46. Mike was exactly my age when I was born, meaning, of course, that he is twice as old as I am. But what is age when you have a body like that? And a voice? And a sense of humor? And he’s not afraid to get dirty, which has awesomely naughty implications. I’ve watched his show, Dirty Jobs, and seen him in the most disgusting of circumstances, but being covered by any number of horrible substances doesn’t dampen my desire for the man one tiny bit. Read More »

Sex Diaries: The Sleepy, Sore, and Sunburned Girlfriend

23717380.jpg[Editor’s Note: New York Magazine does these Sex Diaries that are sometimes cool, sometimes lame. Sometimes they’re interesting portrayals of every day life, and sometimes they make it seem like EVERYONE in New York City is having copious amounts of crazy sex — which isn’t always the case, btw. What would happen, I wondered, if some of CC’s writers blogged about their sex life for a week? Would it be cooler? Funnier? More believable?

Let’s see…]

DAY ONE
7:05 a.m. Boyfriend wakes me up to kiss me before he goes to work, like he does every morning. Like every morning, I feel guilty about my morning breath, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
3:45 Boyfriend comes home early and suggests a quickie.
3:46 Boyfriend catches my unenthusiastic response and tells me never mind. I feel awful, as I do every time I turn him down, but I’ve been cleaning all day without a shower and I had just finished an hour of wii fit so I was sore. I promise him that I’ll make it up to him later that night.
1:22 a.m. Come home from seeing a friend’s band play. Still too sore and tired for sex, so I offer him a blow job as soon as we get home. Read More »

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