Someone up above must hate me, because Heidi Montag released another terrible song. Perhaps this is what the U.S. Military is using in their latest foray into alternative forms of torture.

Don Imus seems to be back to his old ways. Shocking.

A lot of little children (and some really awesome college students…not me…ok, maybe me) spent their Friday evening at home with the Jonas Brothers.

The perfect breakfast for the morning after a late night summer Beer-B-Q.

To make money, or to make a difference; that is the question for many college grads.

Is your brain gay?

Some guys just can’t quite distinguish between fact and a cartoon from the early 90’s.

[Photo courtesy of the one and only, Perez Hilton.]

The Jonas Brothers (one of whom, let’s not kid ourselves, is going to turn out to be gay) are all over the airwaves these days. Disney is pimping these kids out hardcore; giving them their own band, TV movie, and so many endorsements I’m sure they’re already richer than I’ll ever be. Hell, I’m ten years too old for the Disney channel but still know waaayyy more about these nubile young boys (somebody needs to tell their stylist to LAY OFF the foundation. Geeze) than certain cousins in my immediate family.

Speaking of TMI, I already knew the J. Bros wore promise rings. Whether Disney put a (metaphoric) gun to their head, or they really all want to wait until marriage to get it on, I never thought much about the religious implications behind those rings. Yes, certain devout Christian peeps tend to hang onto their V-cards longer than a lot of us, but I never assumed the Jonas Bros were trying to impart any kind of religious message on the impressionable youth of this sugar-pop obsessed country.

I assumed wrong.

At least according to Fox News. Read More »

[Read Day One HERE]

Maybe it’s not the nights that will get me, but rather the entire days. This morning I read the newspaper (again), and I can’t decide if I feel 55 and retired, or 15 with a current event quiz looming.

I did get some comforting feedback from this little “project” today though, by a few friends who I met for lunch, informing me that maybe I am not the only romance addict out there — that maybe it’s an entire generation of twenty-somethings raised on Disney movies, and coming of age with hundreds of rom-coms (romantic comedies). While it is encouraging to hear I am not alone in this thought process, I would like to ask, is everyone else as hung up on this stuff as I am? (seriously, looking for feedback here…)

I have been able to hold out strong thus far, though, it was my trip to the gym where I was really shaken. I love going to the gym; since I don’t have cable I usually can catch up on a few terrible/wonderful (depending on if you are honest enough to admit you watch them) shows while working out. Read More »

So you think all high schoolers are loitering, noisy brats who talk too loud in the movie theater? Think again. Some students out there have better ways to spend their time. You know, like, working toward earning ONE MILLION dollars before they even turn 20.

Meet Cameron, Catherine & Dave, Ashley, Adam, and Fraser. One thing they all have in common is an ability to make a crapload of money on the internet. These kids all made over a million dollars before they were 20 years old.

Check out what they did: Read More »

Pandas pressured to procreate–would some panda porn help?

Disney perpetuates false expectations one bridal gown at a time

“The Hills” movie–would you really expect anything less?

Did Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo tie the knot?

Hey mom, can I borrow $4,000 to go to Porn Camp this summer?

Celeb birthday bash I least want to attend

On second thought, Maury–I’ll take care of that paternity test, OK?

John Mayer is awesome. Got it?

Paris Hilton: “I’m an inspiration”

I don’t care what you say: Madonna is fierce

You know you’ve thought about being a princess. Don’t try to lie and say you haven’t. Even the most tom-boyish of my friends has dreamed of wearing a pretty dress, meeting a handsome prince, and never having to work a day of their life. And while I must say I prefer Megara from Hercules to Cinderella, the allure is still there.

This is where working at the Disney park becomes some people’s dream. Some girls, deluded as they may be, are completely validated by having some balding old man tell them that they look even the slightest like Sleeping Beauty. I am not one of those girls, but I am a “cast member” at Disney World (that’s the special term Disney made up so their employees would buy into their spread-the-magic BS).

Up until I left for school this year, I was a dancer in various stage shows at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, and believe me, it is not always the happiest place on Earth. Dancing around in 105 degree heat, pumping my arms and lip-syncing about how we’re all in this together?!

Not my idea of a good time. Read More »

You didn’t think we’d forgotten about Zac, did you?

We certainly didn’t. And with the big news of HSM3 hitting the Disney-fied airwaves in the near future, we just had to point out a few things:

As it stands, it seems like there’s a whole bunch of girls out there who are holding out for Mr. Efron, and while we shouldn’t judge these feelings some of you are harboring for the guy, we can giggle a little bit when we see him in outfits like these.

And also, he’s a guy known for starring in musicals. Not promising, ladies.

Nonetheless, until Zac decides where he stands personally, we al know where he stands professionally. His cash-cow High School Music is officially in production and Zac and his Hollywood Hipster-Gone-Soft self is pumped! Read More »

This is exciting news!

The perpetual pretty boy Zac Efron is set to star in a movie that holds some promise outside the Disney-fied cushion of hormonal tweens!

A new film called 17 is set to begin production soon and has cast Efron as a 17 year old boy who has reverted from a grown man.

Hey, it’s not like it’s never been done before but, whatever. I’m just excited that it’s not another crappy musical.

Am I coming off as an excitable Efron fan? Well, sorry to say…I am not.

But that’s why I can honestly say I am pulling for the guy because for once he’s been giving a role that goes beyond puppy love and a boyish face.

Aww…he’s growing up!

And I haven’t even mentioned the best part!

Read More »