“I want to be skinny.”

That thought probably floats through my head a few hundred times a day. And the truth is I’m not overweight. Not even close really. But I just want to be thinner than I am, like 10 pounds thinner.

Do I need to lose weight for health reasons? No.
Am I totally out of shape? Nope.

So what gives? Why do I insist on being so un-accepting of my body?

Probably because I have this innate desire to be perfect, to strive for that unattainable “perfect,” hot celebrity body, that is the result of a) a super intense trainer and nutrition coach, which I will never be able to afford or b) a combination of drugs (no thanks) + an eating disorder.

Now I’ve never had an eating disorder, but I must admit I’ve treaded quite close to the edge with some serious calorie counting, not to mention borderline obsessive exercising. But most recently, since I’m perusing the web a lot (who isn’t?), I’ve stumbled upon the term “thinspiration.”

I’m sure many of you have heard of this. But since I hadn’t yet, I did some more digging, which led me to a TON of anorexia blogs, pro-anorexia websites, insane dieting tactics to avoid eating at all costs, YouTube videos that flash images of reallllly skinny girls so that they’ll “thinspire” you… the list goes on.

At first I was totally shocked and horrified by how mental the girls who create this sh*t are. But then, I became intrigued. Read More »