People in relationships baffle me. They spend their lives living vicariously through singles, dragging them into their cult of couplehood, when really, what must they want other than to be back in those uncomfortable but oh so attractive shoes? It’s schaedenfreude.

They’re not happy until we’re miserable like them. They obsess over adding new couples to the guest list for charades or a round of Trivial Pursuit: the Pop Culture edition, and leave no stone unturned when seeking out converts-to-be. The most elaborate, and most obvious, baiting for information is the attempted nonchalant life inquiry. “So how are things? You know, work, your 401K…” Blah blah blah, quick segue: “You seeing anybody? Oh, really? Because I have this friend…” There is no question in my mind that every person who has been single for a minute of their lives has been hypothetically set up with “this friend.” Read More »

When I told my friends that I went and grabbed a drink by myself at Happy Hour they were shocked. “Don’t you know how that looks?” they asked me. Many women think it looks like a move you pull when you’re trying to get laid, when really, maybe all I was trying to do was get a half-priced glass of Sangria and Buffalo Wings (don’t judge the pairing, it’s delicious.)

Independence is attractive. Having enough confidence to say “table for one” is beautiful, and frankly, quite difficult to acquire. TwentySomethings are generally surrounded by people, all. the. time. From roommates to classes, parties to multiple job hopping, mixers to double dates, in between it’s hard to find that sacred time of solitude. It’s often easier to stay surrounded than to forge out on your own, because being alone means there are decisions to make; what you want, sans your friends influencing opinions (God love them).

Do you order Chinese food every night because you’re craving the same Chow Mein you’ve been eating for the past week or because your roommate always gets it? Do you really want to see 27 Dresses AGAIN, or is there an Indie flick you’ve been dying to catch….? The truth is until you do things for yourself it’s terribly difficult to answer these questions because you’ve never asked yourself what YOU wanted before.

This is no simple process. Alone time scares many a confident person. Knowing where to find your fulfillment outside of friends is often hard to do. Friends fulfill me, sharing fulfills me, my family and the random dude who engaged in conversation over a beer pong table (sometimes) fulfills me. But, on some days being able to sit with a cup of tea, or take a walk with my Ipod fulfills me more than ANY OF those things.

Here are some suggestions for those of you who are looking to move forward into your lonesome with grace, excitement, and security. Trust me, after a while, you’ll learn to LOVE IT: Read More »