If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last four years, it’s this: Girls. Dig. A**holes.

Seriously. There are a lot of us who actually ENJOY meeting - and dating – this special breed of douche.

Okay. I might be EXTREMELY overgeneralizing here, but I have seen a wide range of chicks fall for guys who treat them like absolute sh*t. I’ve seen girls who stick with their sub-par lovers for years and can’t give you a straight answer as to why they put up with it.

I probably fall into this category as well; nice guys like me all the time, yet I constantly shy away from them in favor of their more dramatic/mysterious/douchebag-y counterparts.

This might be like flossing a dead horse - or watching a Tina Fey as Sarah Palin SNL skit (again, not that I’m complaining!), but seriously, why the hell do nice guys finish last? And whose fault is it, really?

A few of my theories : Read More »

So yeah. At least for the past week, we’ve been featuring Jeremy Piven a good amount on our site. Why? Mostly because we’re suckers for a well placed smirk, but also because it’s kind of funny to have Entourage’s Ari Gold as your mascot.

But we just might reconsider our devotion if reports like this keep coming out.

According to PrettyBoring, our precious Piven was “doing his best” to mack on 19-year-old Hayden Panettiere at some post-Emmy party a few weeks back. Although there’s no source linked out to the report, if this is true, we will be pissed because A) Hayen in 19 years old. We’re in our mid-twenties, Piven can totally make us his May-December, but he should really stay away from a girl who is still two years too young to legally drink, and B) she’s already in a relationship with that weird looking guy from Heroes. Everyone knows that.

Lots of people who write blogs seem to think J. Piv is a prime assh*le. We’re going to hold out until there’s actual taped proof (you know how some people won’t believe in God until they see his face in a grilled cheese sandwich?), and until that day…we’ll love every possibly smarmy inch of him.

Due to the fact that I am a Jew, I had to miss the live episode of The Hills. As I sat at Rosh Hashanah dinner reflecting on the history of my people I couldn’t help but check my watch – every five minutes – as the 10 o’clock hour ticked on by. I sped home when dinner ended and boy am I glad I did.

Tonight’s episode was fantastico… and full of total a-holes. Read More »

Whenever I meet a good friend’s boyfriend, I try really hard to like the guy and get to know him. I mean if he makes her so happy, I have to give him a fair shot, right? But some of the guys my friends have chosen were, well, complete a**holes and no matter how hard I tried I grew to seriously dislike these dudes.

And kinda sorta wanna punch them.

So what’s a girl to do when her friend is dating a douche? From my experiences, I’ve found a few ways to handle this situation.

Talk to your friend. If you think your friend’s boyfriend is treating her badly, then speak up! Calmly explain why you think her boyfriend isn’t treating her well and state a specific example. This way, if your friend asks why you think her guy is treating her badly you’ll have a legit reason and won’t look like you’re just randomly dissing on him.

My best friend’s first boyfriend would constantly lie to her about other girls and where he had been. I talked to my friend about this and told her I didn’t think he was treating her well. I reminded her of specific events where she had caught him in a lie and other times when he had just been plain rude.
Pro: You’ll finally be able to talk openly with your friend about her guy and let her know how you really feel.
Con: If taken the wrong way, you two could end up in a fight because she might think you’re attacking her guy to make them break up. Read More »

Everyone has that one thing they cannot stand in the opposite sex. It may not be rational (”His jeans are always an inch too short!”), but that doesn’t matter; we can’t help what turns us on (nibbling on my ear…mmmmmm) and off (man necklaces).

This week we asked our writers what made them cringe. (And, yes, everyone agreed that small undies/lots of guns/long hair/ and multiple guitars all lying out on a tarp is pretty effing gross.) Guys, if you are reading this, take note. For real.

Melanie – Northeastern University: I hate cocky attitudes with a tee shirt to match, like, “got your tickets to the gun show?” No thank you!

J – NYU: The way guys’ dirty socks smell. I swear. It could be a terrorist weapon.

Jennifer: I know it’s stupid, but honestly… bad grammar. Maybe it’s just the writer coming out in me, but people who use proper grammar sound intelligent… and I’m a sucker for boys with brains!

Suzie – George Washington University: I feel horrible for being so superficial but I cannot deal with man boobs. They freak me out like… like… *silent scream*

Conan – Columbia College: Smoking. Or fake laughter. Read More »

Miley Cyrus just cannot get enough of herself…lying in bed with a 22-year-old douchebag

Speaking of douchebags, Anne Hathaway finally dumps her old, criminal boyfriend

And speaking of criminals, Hamas and Isreal agree on a ceasefire

Least you forget her, Britney is running around topless

Paris Hilton buys puppies because they’re “cute”, and then lets them die

Japan’s “Cannibal Nerd” is sentenced to death. People remain creeped out all over the world…

Tom Cruise: lover of Thetans, and bomb-proof cars

Her failed lesbian romance

Mario Lopez recently told People Magazine (you know, the magazine that pimps out celebrity baby pictures while unknowingly kicking itself in the ass by illustrating that every baby in this world LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME and is in no way worth 5 million dollars) what his “Dream Girl” would consist of.

Just weeks after splitting up with gf Karina Smirnoff and already casting his net via tabloids, the once and future A.C. Slater tried to make it seem like he wanted the type of girl every guy wants. Good thing I speak Douchebag and can translate the actual meaning of his words.

What He Told People Mag:
“I’m a pretty low-maintenance kind of guy,”

What He Meant:
“Commitment is high maintenance. I’m the opposite of that.”

What He Told People Mag:
“I’d like to be with someone who is secure with themselves. She has to understand that I have a lot going on and I’m busy.”

What He Meant:
“I’d like to be with someone who is so self-centered she doesn’t realize when I’m not at home and that I might be cheating on her while I do all my ‘stuff’. I have to host America’s Best Dance Crew and dance around outrageously on the Broadway stage, okay? I’m busy.”

What He Told People Mag:
“I’d like someone who has their own thing going on – their own ‘passion,’ whatever it is.”

What He Meant:
“She can’t want to steal my passion. Stealing other people’s passion and making it your own is totally not cool.” Read More »

Bill Murray’s wife has filed for divorce after some 11-years of marriage. Thusly, he is the latest in a long list of comedians who don’t seem to be so funny in real life, to the point that their long suffering wives leave them.

Murray’s wife, Jennifer Butler Murray, attributes the demise of their marriage to Bill’s “adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment”. Quite a laundry list of accusations that, yes, I have to take with a grain of salt because they are just that: accusations.

What I’ve heard about Murray’s real life persona and interactions with people on the sets of his movies make me inclined to believe Jennifer Murray, who has also sought out a restraining order on her soon-to-be former husband. According to an article from the UK Telegraph, (with strangely appropriate Bear PSA in the middle of the piece):

The [divorce] papers claim: “Defendant [Murray] has physically abused the Plaintiff on more than one occasion during the marriage. The latest altercation occurred in November 2007… when the Defendant hit her in the face and then told her she was ‘lucky he didn’t kill her’. Read More »