Remember Bristol Palin, the most popular unwed mama-to-be since Jamie Lynn Spears? We haven’t heard much about her (or her gun-toting mother) since Barack Obama won the election. Well, she’s almost due! Little Baby Palin will be gracing Wasilla with her presence this weekend!

Unfortunately, she is going to be without gifts from Grandma Johnston. Looks like Levi’s mama got herself into a little bit of trouble…

“The 42-year-old Johnston has been charged with six felony drug counts.”Whoops!

Not that we can blame her; what else is there to do in Alaska (besides sleep with the Governor’s daughter and go sledding)? She must have been totally down and out after she lost her chance to hang out at the White House. She should have stuck with Sarah and opted for hunting moose to lift her spirits instead.

“Come on– all the cool kids are doing it.” You probably thought you escaped peer pressure when you got your high school diploma and left all the “Queen Bees” at school behind to hold on to their prom queen crowns for eternity while you moved on to bigger and better things in college.

Sure, college isn’t a catty popularity contest like high school can be, but that doesn’t meant that peer pressure doesn’t exist. In fact, in college, there are thousands of kids on campus who are looking for an opportunity to twist your arm. It can be hard not to say “yes” to a party on a Tuesday night (when you’ve got a midterm at 8 a.m. the next day), or to something “experimental” that you’ll look back on and shudder with disdain in the years to come.

If you don’t think peer pressure exists in college, I have one word for you: RUSH. There are collegiates out there who would sell their souls to join a sorority or a fraternity, and they are willing to do some crazy shizz to get through rush. Get into the Greek scene, and you’ve automatically got a clique of a few dozen new friends. That’s reason enough for some students to go a week without changing their clothes or serve lemonade in a giant purple elephant costume (that is, if Will Ferrell’s running the frat). “Hazing” is now illegal at universities across the country, but that doesn’t mean that the peer pressure of rush week isn’t still in full effect. Some say it’s a college coming-of-age ritual. Hey, to each their own, but still: a rose is a rose is a rose. Read More »

Amy Winehouse may be totally cracked out, but that doesn’t mean her brain isn’t working. The girl is innovative. When it comes to doing drugs, this woman will try anything. Like, I don’t know, mixing it with everyone’s favorite sugary treat: cotton candy.

Maybe it was born out of desperation (”I have to think of a way to get my coke fix without whipping a vial out of my nappy hair!”), or boredom (”Doing lines gets really old after a few years…”), but however she cooked up this idea doesn’t matter. Because she did.

Winehouse has recently purchased a cotton candy machine which she fills with her tasty coke/candy concoction.

Seriously, we can’t make this stuff up. We just wonder what tasty mixture she’ll think of next: Crack Fries? Ecstasy lollipops? Heroin hamburgers? Horse tranquilizer milkshakes?

Mmmm. Horse tranquilizer milkshakes….

[Photo courtesy of www.ninjadude.com]

Most college students like to think that all the drugs and alcohol in the world are at their fingertips once they hit campus. But for us under-agers there are some off-limits places, such as certain bars and clubs. If you’re wondering about the secret world of the 21 and overs, you might start thinking about getting a fake ID. From personal experience, and the experiences of my friends who have fakes, there are a few things you need to ask yourself before coughing up enough cash for an ID.

What am I going to be using it for? If you’re buying a fake primarily just to buy your friends booze every once in awhile, it’s probably not worth it to go through the whole process of getting one. It would be easier to just find an older friend to buy for you. If you want one to get into concerts, bars, clubs, comedy clubs, etc., with friends who also have fakes or who are older, then it’s more beneficial for you to have one. This way you’re at least getting your money’s worth, and you know for sure you have others who can join you in your illegal adventures.

Who am I buying one off of? Some of my friends have gotten fakes from a random sketchy place down in Chinatown. Even though they only paid 60 bucks for it, the ID says that it’s not government issued and a lot of places haven’t accepted them. Needless to say, they got sh*tty fakes. Read More »

I’ve never been to Amsterdam, but even I know all about the Red Light district there. Drugs! Sex!

It is like Disney World, but for grownups…who like drugs and sex.

Pretty much heaven on earth. But apparently the Netherlands’ government doesn’t agree. Even though it brings in big tourism bucks, Netherlands officials want to put an end to prostitution. (Total buzzkill!) And their plan to end it is an interesting one….

“The city is offering prostitutes ‘credits’ for good behavior that can be used to buy designer clothes or furniture. The vouchers, which the Dutch media has mockingly dubbed “whore miles,” will be awarded for every step sex workers take to get out of the lifestyle.“

I wonder how that works: 50 points for not hanging out in windows? 400 points for throwing away the see-through plastic heels? 1,000 points for not accepting money for a blowjob? Read More »

Ok, maybe not good, but according to a study by Beckley Foundation’s Global Cannabis Commission (I know! How do I get a job there?!), weed isn’t nearly as dangerous as all those Boones Farms you’ve been chugging.

“Historically there have only been two deaths worldwide attributed to cannabis, whereas alcohol and tobacco together are responsible for an estimated 150,000 deaths per annum in the UK alone.”

In fact, the only thing that makes pot a dangerous drug stems (haha, stems) from the fact that it isn’t legal: the crime that surrounds it, all that crazy sh*t people are lacing it with these days, etc. By making pot legal, people would be able to regulate it and keep it safe.

Not to mention stimulate the economy and create more jobs: people to grow it, people to sell it, people to regulate it, people to supply all the stoned kids with enough Cheez Its and Twinkies to get through the day…

Seriously, marijuana could keep this country from a depression! (And if it doesn’t, it could make the depression more bearable…or hilarious!)

Down with that dangerous alcohol!
Bring on the cannabis!

This weekend I got drunk. Really drunk. For 13 hours straight. I said inappropriate things, I ate things I would never eat on a normal day (sausage, donuts, mayo…not together), and I threw up in my mouth a little and swallowed it.

But I did not get anywhere near a car and never would have even considered driving anywhere in that state of mind.

So why did yet another celebrity get arrested for driving under the influence? Heather Locklear, who was in a rehab center earlier this year for “anxiety,” was pulled over yesterday in L.A. for driving erratically on the highway. No information has been released as to what was in her system, but come on! When you are doing drugs or drinking, be smart and have someone else drive your car!

You think these people would have learned by now after Nicole, Paris, Lindsay, little Hogan, etc., but no.

This taught me an important lesson, though: never go to L.A. Not only do you have the very real potential of running into Spencer and Heidi, but you also have a very real potential of ending up on the road with one of these dumb and dangerous celebs.