New Semester, New Beginnings

Now that the New Year’s Day
hangovers are a thing of the past,
it’s time to trade in the warm sofa
for cold, hard desks as the spring
semester approaches. If you are
wondering how you will possibly
make it through this semester after
barely
making it through the fall semester
you are in luck, because a new semester
brings new beginnings.
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Sweeter Semen? Sign Me Up!

woman with strawberryFile this under: Fun Things to Bring Up During a Party.

Although it’s not 100% provable, there’s a big movement that claims drinking a glass of pineapple juice a day may sweeten semen.

Since what comes out of us can only be made up of what goes into us, our “secretions” (horrible word) tend to change slightly depending on what we eat.

Dairy and certain types of meat are supposed to make things not-so-nice, while pineapple juice and “high grade alcoholic drinks” are said to make things sweeter.

Illustrating the history behind this news, Jezebel recently found a Del Monte pineapple juice ad from the 1930’s with italics in all the right places:

“Cater to his fondness for flavor” the ad urges homemakers, “…men like the rich, ripe taste of this juice…the bracing refreshment it always brings…and so will you.”

I may not know much, but I know vague references to cunnilingus when I see it.

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