Come Tuesday, it’s gonna be fight or flight, sink or swim, with us or against us. Come Tuesday, the dice are gonna be rolled and the chips will fall where they may and they shall inherit the wind. Come Tuesday, it’ll be to be or not to be. Come Tuesday, it is going to be on.

So are you ready to throw down - old school American style?

That’s right, there’s nothing more patriotic than voting, except maybe voting in your authentic replica tri-corner cap with a leg amputation after a Redcoat shot you in the knee. Now, I know we’re all good patriots here, right?

So if you don’t know what you’re doing on the Fourth, here’s your quick and dirty primer.

Electioneering: Don’t Do It
Sort of like Imagineering, except that it’s against the law. Your convictions may be strong as an ancient oak and hot as a raging forest fire, but when you’re at the polls, leave the shirts, buttons, hats, g-strings and any other paraphernalia endorsing a candidate or party at home. Poll workers will require that anything with a candidate’s name, face, logo or political slogan will be either covered up or removed — and there are some things you’d probably rather be wearing while you’re in that giant mass of voting public. Read More »