When I was in elementary school my mom would wake me up an extra 20 minutes early on some very special mornings to crimp my hair. Eyes closing, head drooping, I would sit on my bathroom counter as my mom went through my (excessively thick and fro-ey) hair - section by section - with my purple and teal crimping iron. The end result was horrifyingly awesome. I had the coolest hair in school.

But as quickly as my crimper came into my life, it made its exit. As soon as I hit middle school I realized that giant hair was not in and that, maybe, a round brush and a hair dryer was the way to go. I tossed that crimper in the trash and never looked back. Because no one should. Because that hairstyle was completely ridiculous and it really looked good on no one.

Which someone should explain to Madonna and Lohan. Read More »

Well, the good part about this week is that banks all around the world did not explode, some kind of bailout plan was passed (though don’t ask us to decode it), Sarah Palin and Joe Biden managed to be civil and keep their mouths from f*ckng up at their debate (plus, a new favorite catch phrase was born!), Jeremy Piven’s hotness did not wane, weed suddenly became good for us, and we found out the identity of the REAL Joe Six Pack.

Let’s see, what else happened that wasn’t completely sh*tty…?

Oh, right. We let our inner Halloween bitterness out and felt much better for it, uncovered the horrible undertones to Allstate’s advertising campagin, and learned how to love and protect our awesome boobs.

Unfortunately, there were some not-so-great things that occured this week — and we’re not talking about our realization that we hadn’t blended our make-up one morning. Our birth control flipped the crap out, we realized our college dining halls were nothing compared to these, and the fun of Elementary School seems so, so far away.

Whether your glass is currently nice and half full or running on empty, take solace in the fact that the weekend has arrived to provide us cold beers, fresh-baked cookies, and HBO’s True Blood (What? You don’t watch this show?! Dude…find a way).

With all the crazy sh*t happening in the world today, we here at CC can’t help but think back to the days when the biggest issue in our lives was whether our Mom had put our favorite over-sized T-shirt (with the Coke Bears on it!) in the laundry yet.

Yeah, we’re talking about Elementary School.

And maybe we’re not even talking about the Elementary School of today, because apparently kids are alergic to everything and on mood-altering drugs and having sex at 11. We’re talking about the Elementary School of our youth. Troll Dolls. New Kids On The Block (the first time). Side pony-tails. Dunkaroos. Life was so much fun back then — or at least our nostalgia tells us it was.

In honor of our childhoods, and because we are so. drained. from a week full of political and economic strife, we’ve decided to put together the 10 Best Things About Elementary School. Feel free to add your own happy memories in the comments… Read More »

Shopping for college can be stressful: you don’t know how much room you will have in your dorm, how much is too much, if you’ve brought enough, and if it will match the stuff your roommate has.

Shopping for elementary school supplies was so much more fun - you got to stock up on your favorite Lisa Frank supplies and you begged your mom to buy you a few gel pens because everyone was using them.

This year, instead of making a quick pit-stop at Staples on the way to school and buying a few notebooks and black pens, why not bring some of that grade school excitement back with fun school supplies?

Remember how excited you were to use those gel pens to fill out worksheets in the first couple weeks of school? How cool it was to start a brand new notebook? Here are some funky school supplies that will make you want to head to class, take some notes, and do some hardcore studying. Or at least they will help you make friends by serving as a good conversation starter for the girl sitting next to you.

This stuff puts the “cool” back in school. Yeah…I went there.

Calculator - You will probably need to bring one of those nerdy graphing calculators to your Advanced Stats class, but why not buy one of those enormous & brightly colored calculators for when you just need to add, subtract, multiply, or divide? Math sucks, but bright pink makes everything better. Read More »

I have an inner Chub-Scout. Sometimes, on binge days, she gets embraced a little tighter than usual. I use the term to be funny about it, and it tends to get a laugh, but it’s the bane of my existence.

By looking at me, you probably would just be confused by this statement until you saw me on this “binge” or “cheat” day. I’m your average twenty-something: purposefully purchasing jeans that do not induce OSTS, and have even been called ‘thin’ by the rare observer. Which is nice. But in my head, dear reader, it’s sweet but simply not true.

Bottom line is: no matter how I look now, I was the fat kid.

I know what you’re thinking: if I appear to be an average-sized girl now, what difference does it make that I spent my childhood chubby? The weight didn’t stay with me, right?

Not even close.

A fat-kid complex isn’t something you can shed by counting calories and drinking your eight glasses of water a day. Not when you’ve been on a diet half your life, have dealt with the name-calling and — what can actually be worse — being flat-out ignored. You’re stuck with those memories of the gangly girls in your elementary school classes calling you “fat” with that look of disdain, like you’re a failure at life because you’re bigger. You’re ignored by the boys you have crushes on in junior high and high school, convinced that your fate is to go unwanted.

And so it’s been ingrained in your head. You don’t know why it has to be this way, but what you are is not good enough. Period. Read More »

Dodgeball. Track and field day. Recess… There was a time when these words were what made us tick, when all that mattered was whether you could feasibly be cast as your favorite Disney princess. That, of course, along with what was packed in your lunchbox.

Hot lunch was only cool on pizza and chicken nugget days in my hometown, with macaroni and cheese in as close a third as possible. So rather than stash our hot lunch tickets in our Lisa Frank pencil cases, the obvious choice was hardly your choice at all. Your parents packed it, and you ate it, so they thought. But we all know better. Lunch was a trading game.

Long before we were coveting Gucci bags and Tory Burch flats, ladies, there was a time where the following items were the only accessories of importance. Below are my top five snack foods from childhood lunches, most of which I had to argue my parents for, or trade for:

1) Little Debbie ANYTHING. Zebra Cakes, Swiss Cake Rolls, lots of cake-age going on. These were the crème-de-la-crème of snacking and what made suffering through yet another PB&J worthwhile. Read More »

Ask me if I think New Kids On The Block can make a comeback, and I’ll tell you it’s about as likely as those 90’s snap bracelets (which were banned in my elementary school because kids whipped each other bloody with them) showing up in a display case at Barneys.

But of course, like most things in life, my assumption would be wrong.

PEOPLE is reporting that rumors of a New Kid reunion are growing, and the once defunct NKOTB webpage is back up.

“The New Kids are coming back” a “well-placed source,” told the magazine. “New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together.”

As cool as I thought the band was when I was 10, I can’t say I’ll be as enthusiastic about their sound 14 years later. I mean, when I was 10, I also enjoyed showering myself in glitter and wearing giant t-shirts with the Coca Cola polar bear on them.

Besides, the oldest member of NKOTB is pushing 40. 40. Is a 40-year-old man really going to sing the songs of prepubescent lust and angst, and expect the world to listen?

Laugh is more like it. Laugh and throw snap bracelets.

Oh, menstruation.

Not a lot of people like to talk about it. Girls are pissed off at having to deal with it, and guys are either skeeved out or completely in the dark about it.

A few years (like oh, 40 or so) ago, the cartoonists at Disney realized what a bad rap menstruation was getting. They decided it was their duty to help kids out everywhere. And so they made an animated short. All about periods. Read More »