It’s indisputable: “Riverbottom Nightmare Band” is not only the greatest Christmas song of all time, but the greatest song of all time, period.

I’m not even joking: check the heavy as f*** main riff, 70’s glam-rock moves and of course, the most bad-a** lyrics and melodies ever penned by puppets. This makes stoner-rock groups like Black Sabbath and Deep Purple sound like Smash Mouth by comparison.

So what if the lyrics don’t deal directly with Christmas. Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas, the movie the song is featured in, is a holiday movie; it’s festive by default. And it totally destroys Emmet’s entry into the talent show, the lame-o “In Our World/Brothers.”

Check out the mind-blowing lyrics after the jump! Read More »