In high school, I was more or less obsessed with Bright Eyes. I absolutely adored Conor Oberst and all his whiney, scratchy-voiced angsty music, not to mention his sexy eyes & all-around hot emo boy demeanor.

I was also extremely depressed, dropped out of high school (only for a semester!) and spent three hours a week in intensive outpatient therapy.

However, times have changed and I traded in my razor blades for wine glasses and my sorry, pathetic teenage attitude for a much healthier, positive one. I became happy. Baggage-less, I thought. Completely devoid of any negativity from my past.

And then, as all love stories begin, I met someone who I had absolutely everything in common with and with whom I got along flawlessly for the first six months. I thought I was over my years of self-loathing and teenage drama, and if I could hold a healthy, (somewhat) adult relationship, then I was convinced.

Seriously, this relationship was awesome. We were like male and female versions of each other: We were in the same major (yes, boy magazine journalism major!), loved cheap beer and foosball and basically couldn’t keep our hands off of each other….any time, anywhere.

But, eventually my insecurities came to the surface and the relationship became a huge emotional mess, for both of us. I’m talking the whole screaming at each other in public and then pouring beer on each other to even the score kind of mess. There it was again; all that baggage I thought I tossed years ago, staring me right in the face, mocking what I thought was my new life and new super-happy relationship.

I might be an extreme case (in fact, I know I am), but after the failure of this relationship, that was all lovey-dovey, fairy-tale, red roses on the outside, I began to question, quite Carrie Bradshaw-esque-ly, if we can ever really escape our pasts. Read More »

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »

I am an expert in awkward situations. When I first meet people, more often than not, I leave a horrible first impression. I am similarly awkward in my attempts to be a part of the dating scene.

Just last week, a coworker exclaimed, “Kathryn, you have no game. Your entire approach is off!” Yes, this is true. But somehow, I still get some action, which is why she followed her (rather harsh) declaration with the question, “How do you do it?”

Still, no matter how many times I’ve immediately wished I could retract the bizarre statement that just came out of my mouth, I’ve also been with, or had friends who have been with, equally hopeless guys.

Reviewing my own traumatic events, as well as some of my friends’ bizarre sexual encounters, I’ve compiled a list of some of the worst things to say during sex. Because I’m a woman, they are written from a female perspective, but each of these can be just as cringe-worthy coming from a guy.

1. “Ohhhh, Michael… I mean… Dan?”
Make sure you know the name of the person you’re inviting past the pearly gates. Calling someone by another name will at once crush your partner’s ego and make you look sleazy. Once, I was hooking up with a guy and he proceeded to pour out his feelings for another girl… and try to get my advice on how to go about courting her. That really sucked, and he was pissed when I cut our session short. Read More »