Ladies, I’m sure you’ll agree with me: one of the most important aspects in any serious relationship is the sex. There’s no denying the physical and emotional needs for it, so what happens when you’re not getting any?  I had never anticipated being in a sexless relationship, so it came as a shock when my guy had a confession: he valued love and intimacy over the physical act of sex.

Right.

Naturally, it was a blow to my self-esteem. Was it me? Was I not sexy enough? Did the thought of me naked make his manhood shrivel with disgust? Read More »

Before I lost my virginity, I judged people for their sexual exploits. I made snide comments about the girls who went out in search of a one night stand. I frowned upon my friends who slept with friends, “just because.” I talked badly about those who had sex with their boyfriends after only a week.

I knew most of that stemmed from my self-esteem issues and lack of sexual opportunity, but I didn’t care. Sex was serious, important and emotional; people should be waiting for that special someone to share it with, instead of just throwing it away on some random dude.

Then I met that special someone, developed that deep and emotional connection, and had sex. And as soon as it was over I thought to myself, “That’s it?” It’s not that it wasn’t good, it is just that the actual act of sex was so…technical. The heat, passion and feeling I was looking for was there, but it wasn’t any different than when we were just holding hands, kissing or spooning while watching a movie. I didn’t feel any different about him after the sex than I did before.

But I did feel differently about sex. Read More »

I’m not sold on the idea of having a soulmate. And I’m not NOT sold on it, either. BUT, when a guy refers to me as his “soulmate”, am I out of line to think that he might well, you know, like me as more than a friend? Right. I totally agree. I would not be out of line to think that. So let me tell you a story.

Not all that long ago, I started a romantic fling with a guy who I kinda sorta knew. I wasn’t all that taken into him physically, but emotionally…I couldn’t help it. I mean, I tried not to be, but with every single conversation we had…he baited me with compliments and bathed me in pet names.

He made me mix cds, sent me flowers, wrote me songs, and made me paintings. All within the first three weeks. And I KNOW, this should be a bad sign. I KNOW, these kinds of things should take TIME to develop…but I can’t help it! I like to feel things right away! I’m intense and spontaneous, so maybe I deserve all of the nightmare that is to come with this story.

Anyway, I was under the impression that things were going pretty well. But then he would tell me about dates with other girls. And this was fine. Really, I mean I was, after all, still going on dates with other guys. But then would come the heavily emotional talks until 7am and then the DAYS without talking. The night after he told me that he thought I was his soulmate, we then went four full days without any contact whatsoever. Not even a text. Read More »

Once upon a time, I used to think I was an old-fashioned romantic. Now I know for sure that I’m not. Sure, I’d love to believe in fairytale stories and picturesque idealism – but then again, wouldn’t we all?

For the majority of us, love won’t be rosy and full of references to the likes of Cinderella and Snow White. Conversely, the composite mass of emotional mess we experience is exactly what makes love so addictive.

Alas, it is this aforementioned “composite mass of emotional mess” that I am beginning to tire of. The thought of emulating Sleeping Beauty and spending my days snoring loudly seems to be a very attractive prospect – especially to be rewarded with love’s true kiss (and more importantly, a good-looking man) for doing practically nothing. Read More »

Kanye West likes to complain.

Remember last year when he rushed the stage at the MTV Europe VMA’s, flipping out about the fact that his video cost “1 million dollars!” and that he had “Pam Anderson” and “jumped across canyons and shit!”?

Most people were like, “Whoa, Kanye. You’re talented and stuff…but calm down.”

And he did, for a little while.

Then of course, came the VMA’s on American soil, and West was shut out again, winning no awards for his “genius”. Instead of having a tantrum in front of however many millions of people, Kanye upgraded his whining to backstage…and the radio.

“That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance!” He exclaimed while waiting for a elevator, stomping around and hitting things. “I’m trying hard man, I have the … No. 1 record, man!”

After flipping out the night of show (much like I used to flip out when I was 4 and my mom wouldn’t let me have a second cookie…give a toddler a chance, man!) Kanye went to New York radio station Z100 last Monday and said he felt “betrayed” by the network.

He went on to say it wasn’t because he didn’t win, it was because of the programming; namely, allowing an unprepared Britney Spears to open the festivities and relegating him to a luxury suite at the Casino where the VMA’s were broadcast to perform instead of the main stage. Read More »