New Semester, New Beginnings

Now that the New Year’s Day
hangovers are a thing of the past,
it’s time to trade in the warm sofa
for cold, hard desks as the spring
semester approaches. If you are
wondering how you will possibly
make it through this semester after
barely
making it through the fall semester
you are in luck, because a new semester
brings new beginnings.
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Equal Opportunity: Giant Sumo Girl Will Kick Your Ass

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A 280 pound 14-year-old girl is set to be the youngest Australian to participate in the world wrestling sumo championships taking place in Estonia later this month.

Samantha-Jane Stacey, who eats “Weetbix and lasagna” to help her stay giant, says that a preexisting condition is to blame/is the reason she’s so sizeable for sumo. “I’m naturally a big girl. I don’t have to eat anything extra.” Stacey explains, “I have a medical condition that does not allow me to lose the weight. A side effect of that means I look obese. But I do have a healthy diet.”

While most women would probably freak the eff out if they had a disease that stopped them from losing weight (all those pumpkin muffins!), Samantha-Jane decided to use it to her benefit and spend her teenage years slamming other people down on mats. Well played, Samantha-Jane. Well played.

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