Grieving the loss of a relationship is painful; but not as painful as grieving the loss of a whole family.

The hardest part of ending my last relationship was the fact that I had to end my relationship with my ex’s parents and sister. After two and a half years of dating someone, you tend to grow close to the people they’re close to. So, when you stop talking to the person you were dating, you’re forced to break up with their whole family as well (except you usually don’t have any hard feelings against the family members). And just like that, they’re gone from your life.

My ex-bf had (and still has, I suppose) an amazing family. The Martins were the types of people who would do anything for you. Because they lived near my college town, I spent a lot of time with them and they became my second family. Throughout the ex’s billions of hockey injuries, surgeries, and hospital visits, I was there like one of them, sitting in waiting rooms and trying to lessen his pain and make him feel better.

They let me use their car to come back and fourth from campus to their house and later from Boston to their house. His mom would call me at work and ask me to check up on him. They cooked me dinner and asked me to help. We all watched American Idol together. I shared fashion tips with his ultra-stylish 13-year-old sister. Read More »

If there is one thing I have learned in life, it’s that you always want what you can’t have. The grass is always greener. There will always be someone with a better wardrobe, a hotter ride and a more impressive resume. Such is life.

So, this weekend I decided that I was going to get a little taste of the other side – the other side of my ex-boyfriend’s door, that is.

I blame it on being a Scorpio. Word on the street is that we know exactly how to work our sexy Scorpion magic: We will sit back and wait, silently, passively – no matter how vehemently we really desire something- for the right moment to attack our poor, vulnerable prey (which was, in this case, my unsuspecting, man-whore of an ex).

See, after I broke up with the sleaze (and felt absolutely miserable about it and watched him act like he probably couldn’t have cared less) – I waited. And waited. And waited. Even though we hang out with the same group of drunk, dreadlocked, alcoholic idiots and saw each other at least once every two weeks, I kept my mouth (and legs) shut. Read More »

Judging from last week’s CC poll, a lot of you feel confused about your exes.

Join the club.

I think a lot of us fear that there might be something wrong if we still have feelings for an ex, even years later.

Society tells us that we’re supposed to kick it and move on, that we should say “tough luck” if somebody dumps us, and that we should never again be tempted to kiss somebody we’ve ended a relationship with.

…For real?

Even though I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years, and I can’t imagine any scenario in which I would break up with him, I still feel a little wishy-washy about a few of my exes. Doesn’t everybody? Sure, there are a couple I’d just as soon never talk to again, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about them every week or two (even if it is just in passing). Read More »

Cosmo, the magazine I just love to hate, recently ran an article creatively called “Sex Tips From Guys.” The tips weren’t so much “tips” as they were things a few random guys constituted as “hot”, and the descriptions were so laughably romance novel that I had to repeat them here—with a few additions.

• “Wet your lips and moan that you can’t wait to taste me” – Sam, 22 – Hey Sam, your “tip” makes me think you’ve been watching a lot of porn lately. That’s cool and everything, but I think it’s time you realized that being so specific is one of the fastest ways to piss off your partner. Do you want me to move my head 90 degrees to the left as well?

• “This chick leaned against a dresser and stuck her butt out for doggie style. I definitely obliged” – Glenn, 23 – I’m sure this “chick” is super thrilled that you remember her sexual positions better than her name, Glenn. Also, three points for using the words “butt” and “obliged” in the same two sentences. How colloquially poetic of you.

• “My ex would splash her tee shirt with water while washing dishes. As soon as I saw her nipples through the fabric, I’d have to touch them” – Bart, 22 – Are you sure she was splashing her boobs on purpose, Bart? Maybe she just accidentally got water on herself from all those dirty plates you left in the sink for her to clean. Read More »

I was watching The Pick-up Artist marathon yesterday. (BTW, congratulations on winning, “Kosmo,” who seems as though he’s actually a struggling actor rather than a struggling smooth talker. Whatever he is, I’m sure he’ll be snagging all the hot women now that he’s rolling with this guy.)

Anyway, my ears perked up when one of the contestants stumbled over to a table of women and basically said, in between the stuttering and awkward silences,

“So I have this friend, and he’s dating this girl, and she found a shoe box under his bed full of pictures of his ex, and now she’s really pissed. What’s up with that?”

Let’s ignore how obnoxious it is when a strange guy interrupts your conversation at a bar to “open a set” as Mystery so maturely defines it. Snooping is not the least bit uncommon. We’ve all done it…right? So, the question is - is it wrong, or is it smart? Read More »

Why the hell would you call your ex?

You just broke up a few weeks ago!

Your friends are saying you broke up for a reason, right?

It’s better left this way.

Right.

Yea, sometimes you do break up for a reason. And sometimes, your gut tells you that you are better off without him, as scary as it may be to force yourself to move on in the scary world of single people.

But sometimes, it doesn’t feel right after a break up. Or you didn’t get that closure you needed to move on. Or, you just want him back, plain and simple, can’t live without him and don’t want to.

But in order to get him back, you gotta reach out.

That’s where the Post Break-up Phone Call comes in. Get ready for some uneasy awkwardness, stuttering and lots and lots of underarm sweating!

And that’s before you even pick up the phone.

I don’t know if it’s the website for desperate people everywhere, or a website for the ultimate romantics, but GetMyExBack.com has some tips and advice for people who are in post break-up limbo. Regarding the phone call, here are the highlights, which I’ll create my own takes on:

“Let the Dust Settle.” DO NOT attempt to win him back, like, seven minutes after you break up. Emotions are still flying. You need to give it time, because you never know - after a week or so, you may not even want him back at all! Maybe you finally talked to that hot guy in your class who always looked over at you and maybe that was enough to help you realize there are more guys out there. Who knows? But calling him too quickly could be baaaad, so don’t risk it. Read More »

My best friend recently asked me for advice on facing something we’ve all faced at one point or another, with varying degrees of gracefulness—the first bump-in with the ex. Luckily for her, this bump-in would be happening at her friend’s party that she found out he was going to as well, so she was already starting off better than those of us whose first bump-in occurred during a Slurpee run, hair unwashed and legs unshaved.

Having had my share of even premeditated bump-ins that I’d like to do over, I gave her the following advice:

1. Be VERY careful about drinking. Seriously. If you do get trashed, leave ASAP. No crying, vomiting, or “sexy” dancing while drunk (think about it—have you ever seen a wasted girl trying to dance sexy and thought that she looked good? Didn’t think so). And especially no hooking up with another guy or leaving with another guy unless you’re somewhat sober and/or your ex is nowhere in sight. What looks hot when you’re wasted will likely frighten you in the morning. Read More »