[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

Nina Hartley is an extremely successful adult film star with 650 different video appearances under her belt. Starting off as an exotic dancer in the ‘80s, she is now a published author and an award winning actress for both sexual and non-sexual roles. I met Nina when we both served on a panel about modern sexuality for the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco. I asked her to give me some of her wise wisdom about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

Me: Do you think sexual freedom (through porn, sex outside of relationships, etc.) is good for the advancement women, or detrimental to the advancement of their self esteem?

Nina: Sexual freedom and autonomy are vital components of women’s greater equality in society. We are adults, not children in need of protection. Whether or not a woman’s exercise of this freedom is good or bad for her depends upon her making choices that are consistent with her values and beliefs. When we do things that go against our understanding of ourselves and the world, bad things usually happen as a result. My choices wouldn’t be good ones for very many women, nor would their choices be good for me.

M: We all know the key to being sexy is confidence. Do you have any special advice for being, or even just appearing, confident? Perhaps something you picked up through the industry? Read More »

I, like you, went to high school. When I was in high school, I already knew that I wanted to be a musician and a writer when I grew up. Even though neither of those professions require a degree, I was made to believe that I had to go to college to be successful in life. And so I packed my nervous bags and made way to New York by way of Ohio. I apprehensively took my place among thousands of other students at my school and I felt out of place immediately.

You see, I was always a ‘good’ student. I graduated high school with nearly a 4.0. I aced tests and papers without wincing and was in every club. Kids like me were supposed to go to college. Period. But I never wanted to.

I went because my parents wanted me to.

I dragged myself through four and a half years of college. I transferred schools. I worked 2 jobs (yes, 60+ hours a week) on top of being a full time student. I was miserable. I was utterly, thoroughly, entirely, unexplainably miserable until I decided not to go back to college. I was only a semester or so shy of my degree and I woke up and decided I was done. I made a decision for myself and not for my parents. Finally, I took control of my life and my happiness and I have never looked back since. Read More »

Welcome to college, freshmen!

You may have made it through Welcome Week without any run-ins with the campus police (congrats!), but you still have plenty of opportunities to meet them up close and personal.

There are going to be many times this year and well into your college career that you will find yourself surrounded by alcohol. And, naturally, you are going to want to partake. Just beware–while you are navigating the university party scene, your RA’s, Campus Police, and Public Safety units are gearing up to bust underage revelers.

Here are some tips on how you can avoid getting written up before your first semester is over.

1. Don’t act like ‘The Freshman.’

Just because you suddenly have access to alcohol, it doesn’t mean you need to consume ALL of the alcohol at once. Even if the cops are out and about, they don’t have the manpower to hunt down every single underage boozer. So, they’ll zero in on the kid stumbling around with a trash can on his head before thinking twice about the passive mingler. The same goes with your RA, who really doesn’t want to walk in on you peeing in the corner of elevator. Read More »