I’m not the biggest fan of roller coasters. Something about the feeling that my stomach is about to shove its way into my throat is just really off-putting. Plus, remember that story about Fabio getting slammed in the face by a bird? I mean, it could happen to any one of us.

Since I’m already iffy about the whole thing, it’s not like I need another reason to be freaked out by these fear contraptions. But this story is freaky enough to possibly keep even the roller-coaster obsessed away for a little while.

Yesterday, a 17-year-old South Carolina boy was decapitated by the “Batman the Ride” coaster at Six Flags Over Georgia. Apparently, he and a friend jumped two fences and sped past multiple “Do Not Enter” signs in an attempt to get on the ride, and when the coaster came speeding by, 17-year-old Asia Leeshawn Ferguson was struck.

The article goes on to say that this is not the first time “Batman the Ride” has offed someone. Six years ago, a Six Flags park worker died when he was struck in the head by a girl in the first car of the coaster.

Now, should you be afraid of imminent death every time you get in line for that newest, upside down corkscrew roller coaster? Probably not. But should all my friends stop laughing at my reluctance to get on one of them? Yes. Safety first, people. Safety first.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a bike helmet to put on before going to the grocery store.

Some girls want roses and romantic music. They want Prince Charming to sweep them off their damn feet and whisper sweet nothings into their ears. They want sex to be the ultimate expression of love and passion; candles lit and wine. They want their man to go slow and worship every inch of their body one minute at a time. But those aren’t most girls.

Sure, sure, this sounds good to most girls…but only as an occasional thing. Who wants THIS every night? (Besides the aforementioned ’some’ girls)

Some new research has been released that testifies to the fact that most people — women included — want their sex to be rather simple. This survey was led by sex therapists across the US and Canada and the results are in: Most people consider 7-13 minutes of sex desirable. 3-7 minutes is apparently ‘adequate’ and 10-30 minutes is said to actually be ‘too long’.

So what happened to all of the damsels in distress who crave long love making sessions? Are they just too busy now? I mean, lets face it, women certainly do have more opportunities across the board these days to work whatever job they want and to pursue whatever else in their free time. Maybe women don’t care about how long their man spends smooching their thighs anymore because they simply have better things to do than have Romance Novel sex with a wanna be Fabio?

What do you think? What’s YOUR desired sexy time??

Cosmo, the magazine I just love to hate, recently ran an article creatively called “Sex Tips From Guys.” The tips weren’t so much “tips” as they were things a few random guys constituted as “hot”, and the descriptions were so laughably romance novel that I had to repeat them here—with a few additions.

• “Wet your lips and moan that you can’t wait to taste me” – Sam, 22 – Hey Sam, your “tip” makes me think you’ve been watching a lot of porn lately. That’s cool and everything, but I think it’s time you realized that being so specific is one of the fastest ways to piss off your partner. Do you want me to move my head 90 degrees to the left as well?

• “This chick leaned against a dresser and stuck her butt out for doggie style. I definitely obliged” – Glenn, 23 – I’m sure this “chick” is super thrilled that you remember her sexual positions better than her name, Glenn. Also, three points for using the words “butt” and “obliged” in the same two sentences. How colloquially poetic of you.

• “My ex would splash her tee shirt with water while washing dishes. As soon as I saw her nipples through the fabric, I’d have to touch them” – Bart, 22 – Are you sure she was splashing her boobs on purpose, Bart? Maybe she just accidentally got water on herself from all those dirty plates you left in the sink for her to clean. Read More »