We Wanna Eff Leo DiCaprio
I’m not embarrassed to admit that
when I was in 7th grade, I had 102
pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio on my
wall. My room was a virtual DiCaprio
museum. I owned a copy of Baz
Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet and I had
seen Titanic more than twice, Jack’s
death causing me to sob each and every
time like I had lost a member of my own
family. You see, I was in love with Leonardo.
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Breaking News: Ambre and Bret are Living Out Their “Rock of Love” Dreams

ambre.jpgRock of Love; can you believe people are still actually talking about it? Well, I can…because I am still talking about it. Looks like Ambre wants the world to know that she and Bret are definitely together . And when she says definitely, she really means maybe. After the whole “I can’t believe I told Bret that I’m 31 and not 85″ fiasco, I can’t quite trust her.

Then again, considering that she has taken the time to respond to Daisy’s TMZ “Bret and I hung out and didn’t talk” video, maybe I should believe her this time.

There are so many thoughts running through my mind….

First of all, I love that TMZ would even waste a camera on Daisy. Where does one find Daisy during the day?

Second, I’m pretty sure Ambre’s too old to be sharing news on Myspace. Isn’t there a site for old people (like Friendster?) And, don’t you work in entertainment? I thought you had a show. Use that as your vehicle, Geritol.

Finally, knowing what I know about, A) Bret and Ambre, and B) The history of I-Am-Going-On-TV-To-Find-My-True-Love TV show romances (The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Flavor of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila) the Bret/Ambre (Brambre?) relationship will self-destruct in another 4 minutes; which, not so coincidentally, is how much longer the two of them can ride the Rock of Love fame train.

[Photo courtesy of realitywanted.com]

Getting Creepily Close with the Cruz Siblings

99387.jpg Here are two things I know to be true; Penelope Cruz is hot, and helping family members succeed in life is awesome.

Here are two more things I know to be true; just because one family member is talented, doesn’t mean everyone else in that family got the gene, and two sisters making out—no matter how good-looking they are, is majority creepy.

The UK magazine The Sun is reporting that in an attempt to get famous fast, Penelope Cruz’s brother, Eduardo Cruz (who will now be know as “Sketchy Cruz”), has put his two sisters in his new music video—making out.

In the video, Penelope and Monica play sexy sound-dub artists who are putting the finishing touches on a lesbian porn tape. Something about the porn, plus Sketchy Cruz’s typical pop music sound, gets these two so riled up that they can’t help acting out their sexual tension.

Now matter how hard I wish I was, I’m not making this up.

But wait! The story gets even weirder. Read More »

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