I went out with a guy once. On our first date we went to dinner, and things were going so well that when he took me home I invited him in.

At which point he asked me if he could borrow a book while he “dealt with all the dairy” he had just eaten.

True story. And it ended right there; I never called him again.

I have no problem with talking about farts and poop, but I do have a problem doing so on date #1. I just don’t understand why guys feel the need to bring up the bowels when we haven’t even locked lips yet. And then there is the whole double standard; why can he fart in the car and lock the windows but I can’t even mention the fact that I poop without him cringing and curling up in the fetal position?

I asked my guy friends to break it all down for me - apparently farting is a sign of endearment. Read on… Read More »

The other night, as I slept soundly in my bed dreaming about my new MJ aviators, my phone started to ring. It was really late so I figured it was probably another drunk dial from one of my friends. But after picking up and hearing my friend screaming, I realized that she was either a) totally wasted and annoying or b) really having a crisis.

It was B.

It took quite some time to calm Maggie down enough to even understand her screams. All I understood was, “How could he do that to me!?” I feared the worst and made mental plans for how I would kill her boyfriend for whatever horrible thing he did to make her this upset.

And then I heard what she was saying:

“HE FARTED! He farted in front of me!”

Maggie went on to explain that upon letting the gassy offender go, Steve looked at the horror written all over her face and said, “What? I thought we were at that point.” Read More »

• Naked Britney protest? Sure! …Britney won’t be there right? (pugbus.net)

• Speaking of nudity, CollegeCandy doesn’t necessarily condone streaking, but if you’re a hot babe and you wanna go for it…at least do it naked. (news.com.au)

• If people are looking to get rid of mysterious goo they should just call Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd. Duh. (ktvu.com)

• Oh my God. Please let this happen. Please let this happen. (theoildrum.com)

• Crap, they’re on to us, ladies! Thanks a lot Peteuse! (COED Magazine)