First they told me to watch out for love handles. Then they said my butt wouldn’t be pretty until I got an ass lift. Then calf injections were all the rage. Then I got worried about kankles.

And now, toebesity is on the rise.

What the hell is tobesity, you ask? Ugh. I wish I didn’t know either, but apparently, there are plastic surgeons—and really vain patients—who are willing to scalpel, suck, and reshape those little piggies.

That’s right. Women are reportedly getting their toes remodeled and pumped with collagen so they can fit into shoes engineered to be uncomfortable. They’re also getting their feet lipoed (I kid you not), and shortening toes. Most of these procedures have nothing to do with medical normalities. It’s all about crafting the perfect foot.

Why do this? There’s no good answer.

And that’s it. I have nothing else to say. I am rendered completely speechless by the stupidity of this procedure and the narcissists who pay for it.

If you must waste money on changing your face, your torso, or filling your chest with watery plastic bags, then so be it. But for godsake, stay away from your feet.

What do you think about Toebesity?