[Editor’s Note: New York Magazine does these Sex Diaries that are sometimes cool, sometimes lame. Sometimes they’re interesting portrayals of every day life, and sometimes they make it seem like EVERYONE in New York City is having copious amounts of crazy sex — which isn’t always the case, btw. What would happen, I wondered, if some of CC’s writers blogged about their sex life for a week? Would it be cooler? Funnier? More believable?

Let’s see…]

DAY ONE
7:05 a.m. Boyfriend wakes me up to kiss me before he goes to work, like he does every morning. Like every morning, I feel guilty about my morning breath, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
3:45 Boyfriend comes home early and suggests a quickie.
3:46 Boyfriend catches my unenthusiastic response and tells me never mind. I feel awful, as I do every time I turn him down, but I’ve been cleaning all day without a shower and I had just finished an hour of wii fit so I was sore. I promise him that I’ll make it up to him later that night.
1:22 a.m. Come home from seeing a friend’s band play. Still too sore and tired for sex, so I offer him a blow job as soon as we get home. Read More »

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Men and their blow jobs! It’s unbelievable. Now, please don’t get me confused with one that does not provide oral sex to the opposite sex, because I most certainly do—and I’d like to think (according to my boyfriend’s face and grunts of joy) that I’m pretty damn good at it. But…if women were so publicly in love and obsessed with having their va-jay-jays licked, as men are with their penises, I think the world would go into shock.

Blow jobs are everywhere. From the endless supply of how-to literature, and porno medleys of non-stop fellatio, to over-hearing boys talk about it in a passing conversation; how to give it, how they like it, and how they want, seems to be all men ever talk about. They go hand in hand, like “me and my buddy”. Introduced to one another as young as 14 or 15-years-old, the male species and dick-sucking have been inseparable ever since. If in the event blow jobs all of a sudden became illegal and completely unattainable, the world would not only go into shock, but probably crumble at the seams. I guess it still really is a man’s world. Ugh, don’t get me started on that!

Literature, such as iVillage’s “A Guy’s Guide to Gals on Giving Amazing Oral Sex,” is one of the many examples of how-to literature—which I find nothing wrong with. Hell, I’d love to learn some new tricks, but someone better be supplying my boyfriend with some new tricks too.

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