I spend about 10 hours a day online at work. When I finally dislodge my ass from the chair and head home for the evening, I check my email on my phone while stuck in traffic, or sitting at red lights. When I get home, I power up my laptop and settle in for an evening with my trusty friend, Mr. Internet.

I talk to my friends online. I shop online. I work online. I date online. I stalk online.

My life revolves around the computer and it’s starting to show.

Since I started using AOL in second grade, my social life has moved from the actual world into the World Wide Web. The internet makes it all so easy! Like talking to my friends in other countries or, more central to my life, confronting people and bitching them out when they piss me off.

You know you’ve been there; you have so many things you want to say to someone (like, I don’t know…an ex?) but pussy out when you try to talk to them in person. So, you bring it all up on AIM. And the shit starts flying. You lay it all on the table, turn away from the screen as you click “send” and wait for AIM to tell you if they are typing a response. (Bonus points if you also tune into some really awesome angry/tear jerker songs to set the mood.) Read More »

A close set of girlfriends is like a corset, generally helping you maintain as much poise as possible through all walks of life while proving to be an incredibly tight system of support. If you’re lucky, they know you better than you know yourself (or than you’d prefer to admit to yourself) and love you anyway, all the while sharing their wardrobes and opinions on whether it’s time for a new hair color.

I wouldn’t dream of replacing my girls, not for a second, and especially not with a guy. But what happens when your interest is piqued by a third party you’ve met through a friend? That mutual friend might just be one of your girls, and before you start inquiring why they haven’t introduced you before, you’d better put the brakes on. Why? Because as lovely as a girlfriend is, odds are, she’s not into sharing. Even if she has no attraction to her friend, it’s not looking good until you talk it out.

Before you protest, I would like to clarify that I am aware not all girls are like this. Case and point, I have a friend who set me up with her ex-boyfriend once (weird, weird, weird and ended too horribly for a 500-word blog to get into, but trust that I have a healthy fear of karma after that entire situation, so yes I learned my lesson). One of my best guy friends is even dating one of my closest girls, and I’ve been a supporter all along. In that instance, and certain others, I don’t mind being a liaison, but there’s something that makes me hesitate before actively pursuing someone I meet through one of my girlfriends. Read More »

Sometimes a guy comes along that makes your chest fill with butterflies and causes the words in your mouth to become tangled and incomprehensible. Sometimes all of the stars align and you are actually able to DATE this amazing guy. You want to be together every waking second of every day. Most of us have been there. While this inseparable state is first exhilarating and then comfortable, there are a variety of risks you run by super-gluing yourself to your significant other.

My friends Anna and Jesse have served as real-life examples of the detrimental effects of this practice. Anna and Jesse have been dating slightly over a year and the hours they have spent apart during this period could be combined to form, at most, a full day (maybe).

Anna and Jesse take the same classes in school, eat every meal together, spend all of their free time side by side, and finally every night, go to sleep in the very same bed. If it were up to Anna, Jesse would probably escort her to the bathroom, but the boy stands up for himself once in a while. Read More »

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I’ll be the first to admit that I did some messed up shit to my frenemies during my younger years. One time in middle school, my friends and I poured Snapple and mashed strawberries in a girl’s backpack because we were fighting for absolutely no reason.

Seeing as our military isn’t in middle school (though they are in a similar predicament: fighting for absolutely no reason), I’d expect a little more tact from them. But apparently the U.S. military has come down with the mean girls-syndrome that I suffered circa the strawberry incident.

No, they didn’t mash strawberries in the backpacks of Iraqi extremists. But they did do some very Regina George-esque plotting to create a gay bomb to use against enemy soldiers. A gay bomb. Seriously.

A watchdog organization that tracks military spending exposed the U.S. military’s plan to build a bomb that could turn opposing soldiers gay—consequently shifting their focus from fighting to sex, CBS reported.

The watchdog group found that “the Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistibly attractive to one another.” Read More »