[Want to be part of the liveblogging extravaganza? IM CollegeCandy27 and tell us what you think…we’ll put the best comments up!]

Everyone’s been talking about Beijing’s Olympic Opening ceremony; it’s futuristic, the best we’ve ever seen, full of spectacle…blah blah blah. Not to be a dick, but how interesting can this sort of thing really be? A bunch of people marching around carrying flags, fireworks, George W…it sounds kind of like the Fourth of July, except slightly more boring, because nobody can be drunk.

Since my social calender has a big gaping hole where tonight’s plans should be, I’ve decided to sit in front of the TV (with or without my face covered in a homemade facial…I’m not telling) and liveblog through this so-called fantastic futuristic mind blowingly awesome ceremony.

Let’s see how badass China really is, shall we?

7:58pm — Matt Lauer and some guy are talking…President Bush is coming down the aisle…he looks slightly awkward.

8:00pm — holy f*ck there are a lot of drummers…in wizard garb.

8:05pm — I think my retnas just exploded from the lights. Read More »

Have you cracked out the hot dogs yet? The chips? The sparklers that you fully intend to try and burn your friends with? Well, us too. July 4th — even if you do nothing but stare at a grill for three hours or eat coleslaw with your fingers while watching fireworks on TV — is a day that just yells celebration. It’s summer. It’s a long weekend. Watermelon is in abundance…what isn’t there to love?

Well, apparently, one of your editors has found something not to love. The very thing many of us equate with the 4th…

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The holidays are bright, florescent reminders of how many friends we really have and how clouded our social calendar really is. Lots of us had barbecues and rooftop firework watching parties to go to this July 4th, romantic rendezvous with a special someone under the stars, or giant, patriotic family celebrations where we engaged in our own eating contests (the only prize being a giant stomach and instant regret).

But what if you were one of the many who didn’t do anything special? One of the many who stayed home with nowhere to go, or anyone you really felt like hanging out with?

Then you’d be me.

You see, this 4th of July I was sick. Real sick. A narcoleptic coughing, sneezing, melty-eyed kind of sick. Who knows how I got it. Germs are everywhere in this city. I probably caught it from the pharmacist who handed me my hand sanitizer.

In any case, the plans I had made to grill chicken and watch the fireworks by the water with friends were down the toilet. At least for me.

So what did I do? Well, I watched TV for a while. And then I made some hot dogs because I wanted to try and stay in the spirit of 4th of July grilling. And then I got caught in the middle of a huge fight. Read More »