God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »

The first date… those three words alone are enough to fill my soul with terror. The person likes you enough to go out with you, but did they just agree to be nice, or do they really like you? Do they mean to be friends? Have you just completely misjudged their advances? What if they act really overzealous? What if they act really uninterested?

It’s clear that there’s a lot to worry about when you meet up with somebody for the first time, so try to cross at least one thing off of the Worry List by having a low-stress meal. These five things are not the way to go for first date fare:

1. Mexican.
Refried beans are soooo delicious, yes, but the effects are musical, and you really don’t want that to happen at an inopportune time.

2. Sandwiches/burgers more than three inches thick.
Honestly, these are the most annoying things ever, and they will embarrass you when you least expect it. When you finally maneuver the thing so that it’s possible to put it in your mouth, everything inside it will inevitably spill out onto either your hands or your lap. (Editor’s Note: Sounds familiar to the bedroom festivities later. Ayoooo!) You can’t eat them with a knife and fork, either, for fear of looking like an extreme neatnik. Read More »

For those of you who follow any of my entries on here, if you know anything about me, you know this one thing: I like sex. I like it a lot and I have made the argument on here, multiple times, that a lady can still be a lady and have sex whenever SHE wants…including the first date.

But I did something this past weekend that I haven’t done in five years: I did NOT have sex when I wanted to, and could have.

A man who I’ve had a flirtatious relationship with for the last 10 months has recently been coming on more strongly. He’s been asking me out on ‘official’ dates and telling me how it drives him nuts that I hook up with other guys but I have never attempted to even touch him. (And I laughed some sort of maniacal laugh in my head at that one…I loved finding out that I was driving him crazy with desire. I’m real sick like that.)

We made some plans for Saturday night and I blew them off. I was busy with my writing and had no desire to leave my neighborhood. I kindly let him know that he was welcome to meet me in my neighborhood, but that I was on too much of an artistic kick to travel. (He’s an artist, so I didn’t expect this to be weird for him to hear at all). And apparently, it wasn’t weird for him, because he got in a car and drove over. Read More »

Another week, another issue to dissect. This week we ask our resident male what he thinks of the infamous Three-Day Rule. Do guys really follow it? Do they really believe it? Should we all put our phones/laptops away for 72 hours until it is “safe” to contact our love interest? Or, just like all rules, is this one meant to be broken?

He Said:
Hmmm. The three-day rule is an interesting phenomenon, and while, like most of these ‘rules,’ I don’t think one needs to hold to it exactly, it does make sense. Basically what you want to do is send a message that you aren’t a completely desperate freak or some over-obsessed ‘I made a doll with your hair’ stalker. This goes for both men and women. Calling right after a date, while direct, says more then just ‘lets get together!’ It says ‘I have nothing to do, ever!’ And that is a warning sign.

One thing that isn’t often mentioned about what we look for in gals is if they have friends and a solid base of activities and hobbies. The last thing we want (assuming we are well-adjusted) is some girl who constantly calls us with updates on her location, what she had for lunch, and what flavor toothpaste she’s considering. We want someone who can go out on a date, have a good time, and then maybe the next day hang out with her friends, or spend some time with their mom, or even just read a book by herself. As someone who values solitude, a girl who likes time alone is very attractive, because it means I will also get time alone. Read More »

Want to know what guys think? We can show you. Last week we discussed the issue of paying on the first date. This week we tackle a more touchy (pun intended) topic: getting it on. What does it mean? What do guys think of a lady who is willin’ to romp on the first night?

He Said:
If you put out on the first date, it doesn’t necessarily mean guys think you’re a slut, easy or not worthy of respect. But it all depends on the how well we vibe beforehand.

Sometimes, you meet someone, instantly hit it off, and the sex just flows naturally. Stopping in the middle of a good thing because of some puritan idea that hitting the sheets on the first date is always wrong can be as detrimental to the evolution of a good relationship as moving too quickly. Read More »

Picking up the tab on the first date is always an awkward moment. Do you offer? Do you just sit there looking around the room and wait for him to take it? What do your actions say about you as a person? In this week’s He Said/She Said, we dive into first date etiquette. Who should be grabbing their wallet?

He Said:
Paying on the first date is completely inconsequential to me. I seriously don’t care. If I asked you out, then me paying makes sense to me, based only on logic. However, if she wants to pay, that’s fine, too. It doesn’t make me feel like any less of a man. Especially if I’ve somehow tricked some super-employed high powered lady into dating me (bonus!).

What I really hate is games being played with money/forced confusion. Read More »

I’ve been dating for longer than I’d like to admit, and I’ve had my fair share of the good, the bad and the ugly. Over the course of the years, I’ve learned that there are certain subjects that give guys the heebie jeebies and make them run for the hills, no matter how beautiful, smart, talented and desirable you are. So in response to my fellow CC writer, I decided to go into a bit more depth on things not to discuss on a first date…

5. Money: Sure, it’s what makes the world go ’round and as young people, we often have money woes, but it’s a touchy subject that is best to avoid early on. Money can be a point of contention even in the strongest of relationships, so it’s a good idea to keep it out of the picture (aside from the whole payment of the date issue) in the beginning of things.

4. Your Current Drama: Whether it’s a crazy roommate situation, family turmoil, a health problem or as mentioned above, money issues, that’s the last thing a guy wants to hear about when he’s just trying to figure out if he wants to take you out for date number two. While it’s easy to want to vent about what’s stressing us out, save the drama for yo momma or your best friend, or anyone else who knows you well enough to understand your frustrations and help you through them, dumping it on some poor unsuspecting guy will have him dumping you. Read More »

We all know we’re not supposed to mention our ex-boyfriends when we’re on a first date with a new hottie. Common sense, right? An article on The Frisky puts ex-boyfriend as the #1 word not to mention as a first date. But what about the other top 4 words you’re not supposed to mention? Maybe not so obvious. Or maybe completely and sickeningly obvious. Do they really think we’re that dumb?

Coming in at #4 ion the list of words not to say on a first day is rash. You know, that skin condition you have that may have been caused by the sun, but might also have been caused by another’s bodily fluids (the forbidden ex-boyfriend, perhaps?). Oh, and it may or may not be contagious. Every guy’s dream come true! Come on, girls. If you’re talking about your rashes on a first date, I’m going to take a wager and guess that you’ve never had a boyfriend. Unless he’s the constantly sick, allergic to everything type. Read More »