First dates are always toughies. You spend hours perusing your closet for the perfect first date ensemble only to come to the realization that you do not own said ensemble and must therefore spend another few hours perusing the mall.

Once date night actually arrives and the clothing situation is under control it is finally time to start worrying about other aspects of the evening: what you will talk about, if you will give your date a kiss hello, a kiss goodbye or a kiss good morning?

Now add all that to the fun little twist of having met the person via your MacBook and the game starts to change.

The first date for an online couple is in some ways easier than the not-so-technological alternative. For one thing, you know pretty much everything there is to know about your date…or at least what they have decided to share in their profile. You also have the advantage of being past the “getting to know you” phase having spent the past seven nights curled up on your couch, laptop in lap, chatting to him for hours online. This makes the first date much less stressful as you already know that you enjoy the other person and won’t fake a migraine to bow out before the evening really begins. Read More »

Sup 2nite? U wanna go 4 drinks?

It’s official. Text messaging is ruining dating.

In all honesty, I completely understand that it’s less pressure to send a text message and get a non-response than to call and have to deal with a person’s voice saying ‘yea-or-nay’, but it’s made the entire process much less personal. It feels a bit corporate, to say the least, if you’re doing more than setting a date.

In which case, let me check my Outlook calendar, I’ll get right “back 2 u.”

Don’t get me started on the lingo. I’m a chronic abbrever (see? Just abbreviated ‘abbreviator.’) and I’m a fan of acronyms, but let’s get serious. If you can’t be bothered to type out an entire word, do you really want to be bothered meeting up later? Have you seen “You Can’t Text Message Break-up“? If you must make texting part of dating, learn some ground rules: Read More »

Dear Ladies, I want you to ask yourself a question I often times ask myself on the shameful walk through an apartment which I hardly recognize on a hung over morning. The man at hand’s name is still new to me and I’ve left him snoring in his sheets. His roommates are awake and have no fucking clue who I am, so I wave awkwardly and put my boots on as quickly as possibly. I tell them to have a nice day and I just know, as I stumble down the building’s steps, one of them is asking the other:

“Wasn’t that their first date?”, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.

So the question of doom is this, ladies:

Are you really a lady?

I’ll be the first one to rub hot wing sauce on my jeans. I can be as tomboy as they come… can’t break a nail cause I don’t have any to break…so I know that I’m not a stereotypical “lady”. But when it comes down to sex, I’m starting to see that the “Anything Goes” handbook I’ve been using for dating might not exactly be relevant anymore. Read More »

I met his guy awhile ago, and we’ve hung out a couple of times with friends, but we just recently went on a “real” date. We slept together after that first date, but I like him, so now I’m afraid I’ve screwed up. Is it really that bad to have sex on the first date?

It’s not bad, but if you’re going to make some intentional decisions to get off on the right foot, then sleeping with someone on the first date isn’t one of them. Yes, even if the chemistry is that good. Flaubert (old French author) believed that anticipation is the purest form of pleasure – and the most reliable. Read More »

I know, I know. Everyone is using their cell phone to date these days. Texting is totally 2007. It’s quick communication without the hassle of actually dealing with a voice on the other end.

But I hate it. Especially when it’s combined with dating.

Way back in the day, it was common practice for people to speak on the phone after a first date—or not. Either a duo chatted a few days later or someone decided to just “forget” to call, making it pretty obvious what the future held. A call meant “I like you, let’s go out again” no call meant “eh. You lost me at hello.”

But now, with the increased popularity of texting, people can walk the line and make everything 100 times more confusing. Sort of like the person but not sure if you really feel like going out again? Send a random, friendly text message. Cover your ass in case you bump into them on the street.

“You’re pretty cool and we should talk soon.”

That’s the gist of a text I received a few days ago after going out on a first date last weekend. But no phone call followed the text. Not even an email. Just some random, noncommittal, rated G words typed into a phone in the middle of the day. Read More »

I’m a sucker for acts of chivalry, however contrived they may be. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, offering his jacket on a cold evening, and yes, paying for dinner—it all makes me swoon.

Though I never agree on first date to a place where I can’t afford to pay my own way, I do firmly believe that whoever does the asking out should pay. Being the introvert that I am, this translates into my date always paying. But of course, not wanting to seem unappreciative, I always end up doing what my friends and I now refer to as “the fake purse-reach.”

As soon as the bill lands on the table, I reach into my purse and dig for my wallet, which is usually lying in a prominent location that requires no digging to reach. At this point, my date will usually offer an ardent “No, no, I’ve got it.” You know how it goes, ladies. I offer a “oh, no, please, let me at least pay my share,” while opening my wallet and casually taking out bills. My date protests once again, and I wrinkle my brow and say “Are you sure? Thank you so much!” Read More »

“So like, you work how many hours?”
“About forty. But I get paid overtime.”
“Really? Do they do time and a half? Or do they just work it into your salary?”

I mean, that’s the most boring conversation you’ve ever read, right? I actually almost fell into a coma writing it. But yet, I heard it this afternoon as I was walking in the freezing (what the HELL, right?!) weather to my luscious hair appointment. It wasn’t the horrid content that made my ears perk, but the way it was being said and who was saying it.
Knowing the bumpy, hesitant, enthused speech pattern of a first date all too well, it seemed quite certain that the speakers had just met each other for the first time. Ever. In their lives.

It’s funny. The way we talk with new people we’re trying to impress. The questions we ask. We want to seem so interested, so cool, so inquisitive, we’ll ask anything. We’ll delve into someone’s work schedule with a fiery fervor, pretend we know all of the 784 bands they list as their favorite, and stare into their eyes happily as they detail what exactly they’re studying or what exactly they do for a job. Once I listened to a cute boy explain his financial occupation for twenty minutes without comprehending a single word. Read More »

I’ve been single for a while. And when I say single, I mean…not in a relationship. I’ve had things. We’ve all had things. But things eventually go down one of two streets; Boring Lane or Sucky Road.I can usually tell the difference between a thing and something cool within the first five minutes of being out with someone. Even when my head is telling me to ‘give it a little while!’ my instinct is already walking out the door. Either there’s a spark or there’s not. Either I feel something when I’m around him, or I just feel annoyed.

Admittedly, I’m a picky gal, and try as I might, I can’t settle for anything less than awesome. Why should I? Why should anyone? I’m sure some great philosopher once said something like, “life is short, why chill with losers?”, and I can’t think of any reason to argue with such a statement.

The combination of being single and liking adventure, but being picky as hell, has led me on a lot of first dates. Some of them have been hilarious. Some have been uncomfortable. And some have just been bullshit. (“I don’t know why girls think a guy should pay for anything” an asshole once said within 10 minutes of meeting me, “I’m a starving artist. I’m not into paying for things.”) Read More »