Gym addicts, you’re not fooling anyone. We’re on to you. We know that you’re just trying to make us feel bad.

Like the size two girl in the office bringing in cupcakes, you want the slightly squishy members of society to drown in a pool of self-loathing while you gloat above the rest of us, spending two plus hours at the gym five days weekly and playing intramural athletics on the side. You want us to know that we’ve just failed the physical fitness test of life, and are not as good as you. As people. Our bodies are not as firm and toned, and therefore, you are better at life than any of us who would rather eat Cheetos and take a nap. Read More »