If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last four years, it’s this: Girls. Dig. A**holes.

Seriously. There are a lot of us who actually ENJOY meeting - and dating – this special breed of douche.

Okay. I might be EXTREMELY overgeneralizing here, but I have seen a wide range of chicks fall for guys who treat them like absolute sh*t. I’ve seen girls who stick with their sub-par lovers for years and can’t give you a straight answer as to why they put up with it.

I probably fall into this category as well; nice guys like me all the time, yet I constantly shy away from them in favor of their more dramatic/mysterious/douchebag-y counterparts.

This might be like flossing a dead horse - or watching a Tina Fey as Sarah Palin SNL skit (again, not that I’m complaining!), but seriously, why the hell do nice guys finish last? And whose fault is it, really?

A few of my theories : Read More »

Okay, maybe “new” is not technically true. But hear me out.We all have that old once-loved pair of perfectly worn-in shoes that are still perfectly functional but are (a) out of fashion, (b) scratched up, or (c) both. Such shoes can often be found at the back of the closet, in hopes that their exteriors will suddenly heal and they will rise, phoenix-like, from the ashes of their fashion faux pas.

But there’s a solution! You can revamp them!

“That’s retarded,” you say. “I mean, yeah, I can take them to a tailor to get them revamped–if I want to spend $80.”

“Listen,” I reply, “for you are the one who is retarded–you can fix them up yourself!”

How? Two words: spray paint. Read More »

I will never forget the saddest day of my life. It was just another lazy Sunday, and I’d just done my monthly load of laundry. Upon removing my two favorite pairs of jeans from the dryer, I noticed something devastating: a hole… in both pairs of jeans.

And I know you think I’m just being melodramatic, but I was legit depressed. Not for a lack of jeans, I have a great variety in my closet. But I ONLY wore these two pairs. The rest are a size too big, or a size too small; these babies have always been just right. And I’d never entertained the thought of having to give ‘em up.

So, I decided to take the next logical step: deny the hole, and continue to wear the jeans. Unfortunately, the hole that I was now modeling garnered more attention than I’d anticipated. After a few “Are those crotchless jeans?” I knew it was necessary to fix ‘em, or nix ‘em.

Had I know about Denim Therapy, my next step would have been easy and my denim-life would be sweet right now. Denim Therapy specializes in reconstructing torn or damaged jeans with some shnazzy technique not possessed by tailors.

But this genius entity was useless to me a few months ago, because nobody told me about it! So, I took my wounded babies to my ordinary tailor, who we will now refer to as The Devil. Well, The Devil told me he could fix them—no prob. Read More »