CC Heads Back to School!

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Debbie Does…Retirement?: 73-Year-Old Porn Star Rulz the Screen in Japan

shigeo-tokuda.jpgYou gotta love Japanese culture. They always find a way to surprise you with their little quirks and pleasantries.

I mean, in America, the stereotypical retiree will move down to Florida to spend their time lounging by the pool in a gated community or playing a few holes on the golf course. Lame. In Japan, adult films for senior citizens, aka “elderly porn” is growing into quite the profitable franchise, according to porn producing giant Ruby Productions.

While America’s economy is declining, many entertainment venues (including golf courses) are taking a hit. In Japan, at least one retiree is cashing in on the entertainment biz. Shigeo Tokuda, 73, is the Ron Jeremy of elderly porn.

CNN correspondent Kyung Lah describes Tokuda as “the star of his movies in every way, romancing his co-stars, no matter their age, no matter their needs.” And apparently, his films are no-holds-barred, much like anything Jenna Jameson has appeared in. Read More »

The Agony and the Ecstacy: When Neighbors Have Loud Sex

sexOnce upon a time, I lived in a very small apartment with my significant other. The price was right, the location ideal to school and the complex, if not especially fancy, was at least fairly clean and had a tennis court.

For all that we liked about it, this apartment had one major drawback, which we discovered with some surprise the first night we moved in: The walls were paper thin.

After carting what seemed like thousands of boxes, a big screen TV and a king sized bed up a few flights of stairs in the heat of the Florida summer, the last thing on our minds was making love.

Not so for our neighbors, who started having sex so loudly that I could hear it in the shower at about six o’clock in the afternoon.

At about nine, my boyfriend and I had given up all pretense of affording our new neighbors their modesty and had our ears fully to the wall, listening intently as they changed position, talked dirty, even spanked each other.

Usually, I would get some perverse amusement from a scene such as this, but it only made me feel, well, sad. I didn’t know if the couple next door had been moving all day like we had, but they obviously had the energy for a marathon lovemaking session. I thought with some embarrassment that the time we had spent listening to the rabbits on the other side of our wall, not unpacking or resting, could have just as easily been spent having sex. Not crazy end of the world sex in which our neighbors were engaging, but sex nonetheless. Read More »

7.8 Quake Rocks China, Myanmar death toll nears 32,000 (and more)

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Bye-bye Hillary… As more and more news outlets and political insiders come out in support of Senator Barack Obama as the democratic presidential nominee, pressure is mounting for Clinton to drop out so that the democratic party can turn their focus onto defeating McCain—whom many are calling Bush III.

This week’s Economist led with an article entitled “Almost there: Barack Obama deserves the nomination. It is not yet clear whether he deserves the presidency”. The article went on to state:

“As The Economist went to press, Mrs Clinton was publicly still promising to keep on fighting right the way to the Denver convention. That remains her right. But it is hard to see what she, her party or her country can gain from the struggle.”

The New York Times—who had endorsed Senator Clinton– posted a rather scathing editorial in which all but call upon her to drop out, stating that while it is her right to continue the fight,

“Mrs. Clinton will be making a terrible mistake — for herself, her party and for the nation — if she continues to press her candidacy through negative campaigning with disturbing racial undertones.” Read More »

“France or Florida?”: FOL 3 Recap, Episode 13

ar560×560resize.jpgSo they are going to France. I really hope that in this episode that there is some action. Funny, violent, I don’t care. And I don’t care if it comes from the girls, from French bystanders - just give me something to care about in this hour.

I tune in and the three girls are outside; Seezinz says something about “there’s no way you’re coming into the house already in love with Flav.” Yeah, that’s what I’ve BEEN saying. Seezinz thinks that Black is cocky because she says that she doesn’t have to fight for Flav’s time – but really, she’s just telling the truth. Flav thinks that she’s smokin hot.

Now they’re on a yacht. Cool, fight on the yacht, please. Anything so that I don’t have to watch Flav hook up. Sinceer didn’t wear bathing suit bottoms on the boat; I’m glad that she didn’t jump in bottomless. After water time, Flav asks the girls if he made the right decision about eliminating Thing 2. Please don’t bring her back.

I got a phone call and missed out on how they went from T2 talk on the boat to a soiree. I also can’t believe that I spelled soiree right on the first try. Read More »

How To Deal With Reverse Homesickness

So you’ve finished your first year of college! You’re relieved, excited, and filled with pride (hopefully) at your academic accomplishment. You say goodbye to your friends at school, and make the journey home.

For me, that journey home was pretty long: 1330.45 miles, if we’re being exact. And after two weeks at home, and that initial joyful reunion with my friends from high school, I am suffering from a major case of reverse homesickness.

During my first semester of school, all I wanted to do was go back to Florida, transfer to a school where academics are often neglected for tanning and water sports, despite the fact that I had come to Boston to get away from such a scenario. Nonetheless, I was ready to throw in the towel and head back home.

Second semester, however, I really began to find my footing at school, and I had a wonderful time. I did well in all my classes, fell into a groove that enabled me to balance my academic goals with some semblance of a social life, and participated in our school’s spring musical. My last night in Boston was the night of our cast party, which was not short on the debauchery or tearful goodbyes.

Suffice it to say, when I arrived home, I was feeling a little morose. I wasn’t going to see anyone from Boston until September! And now, as a couple weeks have passed and it’s getting stiflingly hot here, I miss Boston and my school friends like nobody’s business. I’ve even come to miss the simplicity of my tiny freshman double, the greasy food at our dining hall, even the drunken frat boys screaming outside my window at 3 in the morning on a Thursday night…I could go on, but I’ll spare you.

So, partly for my sanity, and partly for yours, I’m come up with a few ways to avoid, or at least diminish, that reverse homesickness. Read More »

Austrian Imprisons and Impregnates Daughter, Florida Senate Passes Vehicular Emasculation Bill, Reverend Wright’s Latest Defense, (and more!)

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Hello! This is the inaugural article of the College Candy Kaleidoscope: a summary of the day’s news. I am your host (don’t laugh) Kandy Korrespondant! So, without further ado…

Reverend Jeremiah Wright, the now infamous pastor of Presidential contender Barack Obama, said on Monday that attacks on his fiery sermons represent a societal failure to understand black church traditions.

On Monday officials reported that a Drug Cartel war near the California-Mexico border town of Tijuana has resulted in at least fifteen deaths.

On Sunday, the New York Times exposed correspondence between the US Department of Justice and Congress stating that US intelligence officials working to stop terrorist attacks may use techniques banned under international law. This contradicts an Bush’s executive order last summer stating that the CIA would observe international law during detainee interrogations.

Three NYPD detectives on trial for the 2006 fatal shooting of 23 year old Sean Bell were acquitted on Friday. Bell died in a hail of bullets outside of a strip club hours before he was to marry Nicole Paultre. The detectives defended their actions saying that they thought Bell and his two friends were on their way perpetrate a drive-by shooting. None of the victims were armed and no gun was recovered from their car. Bell was shot 50 times. Read More »

Life As A Disney Cast Member: Stuff the Mouse Would Kill Me For Telling You

You know you’ve thought about being a princess. Don’t try to lie and say you haven’t. Even the most tom-boyish of my friends has dreamed of wearing a pretty dress, meeting a handsome prince, and never having to work a day of their life. And while I must say I prefer Megara from Hercules to Cinderella, the allure is still there.

This is where working at the Disney park becomes some people’s dream. Some girls, deluded as they may be, are completely validated by having some balding old man tell them that they look even the slightest like Sleeping Beauty. I am not one of those girls, but I am a “cast member” at Disney World (that’s the special term Disney made up so their employees would buy into their spread-the-magic BS).

Up until I left for school this year, I was a dancer in various stage shows at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, and believe me, it is not always the happiest place on Earth. Dancing around in 105 degree heat, pumping my arms and lip-syncing about how we’re all in this together?!

Not my idea of a good time. Read More »

Spend Spring Break in the Galapagos, Help the Earth

1.jpegJanuary may be almost over, and February may have nothing for you to look forward to except Valentine’s Day (which, for a lot of us, is less a holiday and a more a day spent buying ourselves candy and throwing the wrappers at all the happy couples on TV), but March is certainly coming, and it’s bringing with it two of the most amazing words in the English language: Spring Break.

Now, a lot of you out there may associate Spring Break with places like Cancun, Florida, the Bahamas, and other tropical paradises where there’s nothing to do except drink weird fruity things with tiny paper umbrellas floating in them.

And while I have nothing against fruity drinks and paper umbrellas (not to mention scantily clad people lathered up with suntan lotion), Spring Break can be a time for more than just getting a tan and having seven nights of hook-ups you regret later. It can be a time to actually do some good.

The Isabela Oceanographic Institute (IOI), a Florida-based non-profit organization that deals with both American and European study abroad programs, has one of the most amazing Spring Break opportunities around: spend a week in the Galapagos islands while researching ways for them to stay self sufficient. Read More »

Candy Dish: Japanese Toy Boobs! Aww

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• When the going gets rough, the Japanese make toys.

• There’s something about Florida and incompetent people that will always be equally depressing and amusing. Which is why I’m not shocked this story involves both drugs and a bus driver.

• Two bus driver-related stories?! This one about a pissy driver who left his noisy student riders on the side of the road. Canadian bus drivers? Don’t mess.

Video: Cute Alert! Take a minute and warm your heart. You’re welcome.

• This Friday night, break this out and see what happens!

• Do yourself a favor and read this on Saturday morning.

• Cute and inconvenient! Baby hogs totally hog the road (with picture!).

Babysitter Smokes Joint; Posts Pictures

weed smoking jointOkay, so I admit it. Sometimes, when I babysit, I totally go into the fridge and eat some food.

And every once in a while, I let the kid stay up past his bedtime, because, I mean, making them go to sleep when the sun is still up is just wrong.

I may not be an angel of perfection when it comes to taking care of other people’s kids, but at least I don’t get them stoned.

Earlier this month, a 15-year-old Florida girl was arrested and charged with felony child abuse after smoking a joint around the little kid she was babysitting—and posting a picture of it on MySpace.

The girl (who’s name is being withheld by authorities because of her age and massive stupidity) was charged as a juvenile and released into her parents care after the arrest, but the possibility that the state attorney’s office will charge her as an adult later is quite high (haha. Get it?). Read More »

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