You know you’ve thought about being a princess. Don’t try to lie and say you haven’t. Even the most tom-boyish of my friends has dreamed of wearing a pretty dress, meeting a handsome prince, and never having to work a day of their life. And while I must say I prefer Megara from Hercules to Cinderella, the allure is still there.

This is where working at the Disney park becomes some people’s dream. Some girls, deluded as they may be, are completely validated by having some balding old man tell them that they look even the slightest like Sleeping Beauty. I am not one of those girls, but I am a “cast member” at Disney World (that’s the special term Disney made up so their employees would buy into their spread-the-magic BS).

Up until I left for school this year, I was a dancer in various stage shows at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, and believe me, it is not always the happiest place on Earth. Dancing around in 105 degree heat, pumping my arms and lip-syncing about how we’re all in this together?!

Not my idea of a good time. Read More »

January may be almost over, and February may have nothing for you to look forward to except Valentine’s Day (which, for a lot of us, is less a holiday and a more a day spent buying ourselves candy and throwing the wrappers at all the happy couples on TV), but March is certainly coming, and it’s bringing with it two of the most amazing words in the English language: Spring Break.

Now, a lot of you out there may associate Spring Break with places like Cancun, Florida, the Bahamas, and other tropical paradises where there’s nothing to do except drink weird fruity things with tiny paper umbrellas floating in them.

And while I have nothing against fruity drinks and paper umbrellas (not to mention scantily clad people lathered up with suntan lotion), Spring Break can be a time for more than just getting a tan and having seven nights of hook-ups you regret later. It can be a time to actually do some good.

The Isabela Oceanographic Institute (IOI), a Florida-based non-profit organization that deals with both American and European study abroad programs, has one of the most amazing Spring Break opportunities around: spend a week in the Galapagos islands while researching ways for them to stay self sufficient. Read More »

• When the going gets rough, the Japanese make toys.

• There’s something about Florida and incompetent people that will always be equally depressing and amusing. Which is why I’m not shocked this story involves both drugs and a bus driver.

• Two bus driver-related stories?! This one about a pissy driver who left his noisy student riders on the side of the road. Canadian bus drivers? Don’t mess.

• Video: Cute Alert! Take a minute and warm your heart. You’re welcome.

• This Friday night, break this out and see what happens!

• Do yourself a favor and read this on Saturday morning.

• Cute and inconvenient! Baby hogs totally hog the road (with picture!).

Okay, so I admit it. Sometimes, when I babysit, I totally go into the fridge and eat some food.

And every once in a while, I let the kid stay up past his bedtime, because, I mean, making them go to sleep when the sun is still up is just wrong.

I may not be an angel of perfection when it comes to taking care of other people’s kids, but at least I don’t get them stoned.

Earlier this month, a 15-year-old Florida girl was arrested and charged with felony child abuse after smoking a joint around the little kid she was babysitting—and posting a picture of it on MySpace.

The girl (who’s name is being withheld by authorities because of her age and massive stupidity) was charged as a juvenile and released into her parents care after the arrest, but the possibility that the state attorney’s office will charge her as an adult later is quite high (haha. Get it?). Read More »

I do enjoy a good key lime pie.

But it’s so hard to find a restaurant that does it right. Unless you’re in Florida, ordering a piece of key lime pie off a menu is basically asking your waiter to dig something rock hard out of the freezer and stick it in a microwave.

Unless you take your key lime in a shot glass.

Usually, I’m not too keen on mixing lime juice and milk products, but the measurements in this recipe are proportionate enough to keep your stomach from souring.

Celebrate the looming last days of summer with this exotic shooter.
Key Lime Pie Shot

• 1 oz vodka
• lime juice (to taste)
• whipped cream

Pour a small amount of lime juice into your shot glass. Top it off with the vodka. Put a tiny burst of whipped cream on the top. Lean back and shoot! Read More »

If only there was a way to interview the monkey!

Last Tuesday, passengers aboard a Spirit Airlines jet flying from New York to Florida had a bit more to deal with than those impossible-to-open peanut bags.

Seems one of their fellow travelers had decided it was totally okay for him to shove a monkey into his hat and bring it aboard.

The strange, strange man, who had originally departed from Lima, Peru, somehow managed to hide the tiny creature “inside his ponytail” and underneath his cap while he boarded the plane, his cover blown only after the animal climbed out of it’s hiding place halfway through the trip.

This story obviously begs a few questions:

First, just how big was the man’s ponytail, and why did no one notice there was a monkey in it?

Second, how come I’m forced to practically strip before I board a plane, but this dude managed to smuggle a living creature onboard underneath a hat? Read More »