New Semester, New Beginnings

Now that the New Year’s Day
hangovers are a thing of the past,
it’s time to trade in the warm sofa
for cold, hard desks as the spring
semester approaches. If you are
wondering how you will possibly
make it through this semester after
barely
making it through the fall semester
you are in luck, because a new semester
brings new beginnings.
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Would You Like That Wrapped? A Guide to Condoms

condoms.jpgIn this day and age, much is expected of men once they reach that strange college age: they must be strong yet sensitive, mature yet playful, erudite yet down-to-earth.

And most of all they must have a damn condom on them when the time comes. But of course, they forget; they were probably thinking something manly, like going to the moon or doing their Stats homework.

Make no mistake: if you’re gunning for it, sexy time will happen at college, and inevitably you’ll sometimes get stuck picking up the contraceptive slack. When you do, you’ll need to know your condoms. You don’t want any unpleasant surprises (”Honey, this is a sea anenome”).

Here are a few some notes, with thanks to the University of Connecticut’s Health Services office.

Obviously, everyone knows how to put a condom on. Obviously! Right? Double check, because even if you’re not the one wearing the jimmy hat, you’ll want to be keeping the dude honest. It’s very manly to make stupid mistakes.

Normal condoms don’t really need an explanation. It’s notable, though, that there’s nothing actually special about Trojans, other than their cool namesake (nobody ever mentions the ancient Babylonian epic “Durexia” for example). They aren’t any more durable or comfortable than any other standard brand. Read More »

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