Finals are coming, which means we are spending every waking moment trying to learn all those things we should have been learning all semester. We have only taken one break so far, which led to a drink, then five drinks, then a total late night pizza binge.

But Psych 350 and English 125 aren’t the only things we’ve learned this week (mostly because we still haven’t gotten through a quarter of the material yet):

We learned that you can be friends after sex, that you can be warm and chic, and that French men are the ones to go for.

We learned that jumping rope is the best calorie burner, that there is a big difference between dating undergrads and grad students, and that guys think hot girl models are intimidating, too.

We learned that the Big 3 automakers are totally screwed, that the best way to pay for school is by getting a sugar daddy, and that a guy’s condom preference says a lot about his character.

We also learned that 4th graders know more about dating than college boys, that we can put abortions on our wish lists this year and that lots of guys fear commitment.

We even learned how to make soup!

Whew. No wonder there is no room left in our brains for all that boring Psych shiz.