Here’s an invention for the sex kitten in all of us: scientists in the UK have developed a chip that will stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. In other words, this chip will turn you on.

The technology is very rough at the moment, but the people behind it (all men, I presume) say that it should be perfected within the next 10 years. What does perfect look like?

“When the technology is improved . . . it will be more subtle, with more control over the power so you may be able to turn the chip on and off when needed.”

So, on at home and off during class? On during class and off with the parents? On with the boy and a quick off when the roommate walks in?

At first glance this gadget seems pretty fantastic, but think about it: once guys know they can just “flip a switch” to get you in the mood, the romance will be over. Say goodbye to flowers, candy and those sweet nothings in your ear. Give a little TTFN to makeout sessions, opening doors and nibbling on your neck. Hell, say goodbye to foreplay. With the ease of flipping this switch, guys won’t need to work for it anymore.

I am all for technological advancements in TVs, music players and cars, but let’s leave sex to nature, shall we? Call me old fashioned (and a little kinky), but I like the old way.

Email your old (BUT NOT TOO OLD, DAMMIT!!!) friend Tuffy at tuffy@collegecandy.com to get answers to your craziest questions. No question is too bizarre or too normal! Ask away! Tuffy’s column runs every other Tuesday.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have a question that I’ve been trying to solve for months but it just baffles me. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years; he’s really a great guy, but sometimes I just don’t understand him! Like a year and a half ago, we were talking about things we’d like to try in the bedroom. I’m usually the one who is more adventurous so I was trying to encourage HIM to come up with an idea and asked: “Is there anything you’ve really wanted to try but haven’t mentioned because you’re too afraid?” Big mistake.

So, apparently, like every other guy these days it seems, he wants a threesome. However, UNLIKE every other guy… he wants it to be MFM. I was shocked! I mean, what guy actually WANTS that?!? I asked him why on Earth he would want that and he seems to have this idea (I’m sure it came from a porn somewhere, LOL) that it would be amazing for me and he wants to see me pleased. But I don’t want to do it and I’ve told him. I think it’s gross and creepy. But he still seems to think that this would make our otherwise pretty routine sex life (that’s a complaint for another day though) more exciting.

The only problem I see with that story, if he’s so concerned with seeing me pleased, why doesn’t it show in our sex lives? He LOVES being at the receiving end of foreplay, but is rarely on the giving end. He doesn’t like to try new positions and when he finds something that I like, he’ll just do it over and over again until it’s really not that great anymore. I really think that he is self conscious (he still hates being naked around me if we’re not having sex) and afraid that if he tries something new I won’t like it. It’s just frustrating… the only way to get better is PRACTICE! Read More »

Some women get to have the dreamy, stereotypical first time. The love of your life surprises you with a romantic evening alone and it ends up in the bedroom. He tells you he loves you and all that jazz.
Well, you know what? Some of us would like to forget our first time, and “some of us” includes me. I’m not saying I regret it, but I sure as heck wish I’d put more thought into it and had better judgement.

I was young and stupid, and depressed. I was 16, a junior in high school, and had never been in love. My friends were hooking up and wondering why I’d never been able to have a boyfriend for longer than a week. I was never the “It” girl, I was more of the “one of the guys” girl. I’d never been told I was beautiful by any guy, I’d never been told I love you by anyone besides my parents.

So, my self-esteem really wasn’t all that great when my ex-boyfriend put the moves on me. During a play rehearsal. In a storage closet. And the cherry on top was the fact that after 2 minutes he just got dressed and left. TOTAL D-BAG!!!!! Read More »

Just because you’ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn’t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered. In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?

Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you’ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first “reunion” can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy. And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed…naked…and possiby still drunk.

How do you deal? If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.

1. The Awkward Aversion

You don’t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you’re fine not knowing. You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else’s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room. This will come off as either immature or disinterested. If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he’ll think you regret it. Unlike girls who want what they can’t have, guys are more likely to give up if you’ve bruised their ego. If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method. Read More »

After hearing about KY Brand’s new Yours & Mine couples lubricants, I was mildly intrigued. After seeing a few more ads in magazines and one semi-funny commercial, I decided to investigate via Google.

What I found was an intricately designed website that made this lube look like the kind that astronauts would use… if they found time to do the dirty while in orbit. Extra-curricular NASA activity aside, I decided I had to try it.

I went to my local Target, dragged my boyfriend to the pharmacy aisle and asked if he was game to test drive it. $18.09 (!!!) later, we were opening up our high tech pleasure pack.

The box reflects the same “couples only” mindset that all the other marketing for this product does, which I find pretty inconsiderate of any loyal single KY customers. Slogans for Yours + Mine include “The best thing to happen to sex since love” and “It takes two…To make magic. To make love.” KY makes no effort to sell this product to those engaging in casual play.

The lubes come in 1.5 oz test tubes (they’re a lot smaller than I thought they’d be, considering the price) that faintly glow in the dark. This unnecessary (but awesome) trait earns the product bonus points with me and boyfriend, as both of us are easily amused.

Boyfriend, a biology major, gets into the whole playing scientist scheme with the test tubes and obeys the box’s directions to use “Mine” (the pink one) on me, while I use “Yours” (blue) on him. Read More »

Dear Ex BF,

It has been awhile since we parted ways, but that doesn’t mean that I forgot all the things I wanted to say to you but never got the chance. You dated me long enough to know (well, if you ever stopped talking about yourself long enough to learn anything about me) that I always have to have the last word. Always.

So, here is my last word. Actually, quite a few of them.

I never really got the chance to say much during our three month relationship. Lord knows I tried, but it is hard to get a word in with someone who likes to talk about his greatness in all things from timing the traffic lights to fixing things to his sexual stamina. Well, my ex-pal, the only thing you were good at was convincing people you were good at everything else. Because I remember the time we almost died when you ran a red light, my dresser drawers that won’t close correctly since you “fixed them” and that one time we had sex for longer than 3 minutes….and you were hammered.

While we’re on the topic, let me just say that foreplay is more than just pulling off your own sweatpants and grabbing a condom. Maybe you were ready to go at the drop of a hat (as made obvious by the many times you pre-warned me that, “this may be quick.”), but we lady-folk need a little bit more attention. Perhaps you could have kissed my neck or, I don’t know, undressed me? I know that any form of physical contact brought the possibility of an even earlier climax for ya, but you could have at least tried. Read More »

The allure of the “tease” has long driven men shamefully crazy. The fishnets on the librarian. The black bra through the shirt. The lace underwear he can see when you bend over. This concept is the functioning force behind burlesque, perfume ads, and even your little black dress.

The tease, in my opinion, may very well be the purest form of foreplay.

So why not participate in some online foreplay? Everything else these days is online. You trust your bank account online. Your private emails. Your social security number. So why not your sexy legs?

I’m not saying that you need to go off and buy a “(your name)inherunderwear.com” domain. However, if you’ve got an appetite at all for building on sexual chemistry between yourself and someone else, why not restructure your approach to the traditional tease? Lets face it: nothing else is traditional anymore, so this doesn’t need to be, either.

Far too many girls, in my opinion, really need to sort out their bunched up panties over matters like this.

DEAR GIRLS WHO ARE AFRAID OF SENDING YOUR DESIRED OTHER SEXY PICTURES OVER THE INTERNET: Read More »

I am 22 years old. I tend to be attracted to older men. And still, I find myself hooking up with men who have absolutely no clue what they are doing in bed. I don’t mean little things, like being unable to unzip my dress with one hand (I mean, some zippers get stuck sometimes), or getting all tangled in the sheets forcing us to pause the action in order to perform a rescue.

Those little things I can overlook.

What I can’t overlook is a Law Student’s inability to last longer than 3 minutes. Or to figure out where on earth a woman’s clitoris is.

What is the problem here? Did these boys learn nothing from sex education? And what about common sense? I mean, come on, who ever thought pushing a girl’s head towards your nether regions was a good form of foreplay?

And, maybe I’m asking too much, but if a guy can take the SAT’s and get into college, shouldn’t he be able to figure out what is/is not an acceptable way to treat a woman’s nipples? I don’t bite your penis, why do you think it’s ok to nosh on my nips? Read More »