It’s true that upperclassmen tend to look down their noses at freshmen, particularly early in the year when they’re wet behind the ears and stumbling wide-eyed around campus. We’re not laughing at you because you’re lost, though, or because you brought a ridiculously huge couch for your 90-square-foot room. No, sophomores, juniors, seniors, chuckle at, or are continuously annoyed by freshmen, because they try too hard.

The most common insult for a freshmen: “man, that guy is trying too hard.” When coming to a competitive ivy league school, freshmen are immediately aware that the kids around them are some of the best students in the country. They probably were the small-town star of their high school, and now feel desperate to assert themselves, to still be the big fish in the rapidly expanding pond. Thus, while sitting next to a few freshmen chatting in a dining hall the other day, I was sad — sad, but not surprised — when after about 2 minutes, the test score discussions began.

“So what did you get on your SAT’s? I got ___.”

After the test scores, came the trips-to-Europe competition.

“I’ve been to Rome twice.” “Oh yeah, I went too, and Paris, and all over France as well.”

This is the epitome of Trying Too Hard, and you can see why it’s so annoying to upperclassmen. Read More »

Angelina Jolie hit the red carpet this weekend (with the best arm candy…EVER) to promote her new movie, Changeling. And, yeah, this woman had twins 3 months ago.

As in two babies.
Two.

She looks smokin’. I have no babies and my body doesn’t look like that. I don’t know how she does it: 152 kids, a busy career and all that delicious French cuisine?!

I hate want to be her.

So I know I haven’t written in like forever, but it’s time for me to tell you that me and Benji broke up. I totally thought that me and him would last - like I didn’t think that he’d mind that I had another boyfriend.

But whatever, I’m so over Benji and I am totally hearting Chris now. Nicole can KEEP Benji all to herself now.

My new boyfriend like OWNS MySpace so he can help me redo my page so that way if I wanted to really run for President, he’d make it so that the whole country can vote on my page instead of having to go to those polls. Those are probably like really far and out of the way for everyone. But whatever, the election is like next year so that’s plenty of time. I bet we’ll be married by then!!

I don’t normally like to get so serious - but Blackberry, I’m lonely. Like sure I have sex with any guy who gives me the *look* but I don’t have any girls to call to tell them about my sex or if it burns when I pee. LA is too full of jealous girls whose boobs are bigger than mine so I decided that I’m going to go to London to find my new best friend. I think that it’s in France so that means that we can shop there together and everything. Read More »

Body hair – for good reason – is a topic not often discussed. For one thing, there are far more interesting topics to talk about (like cupcakes, for example) than the unfortunate sprouting under your arms. For another, what is there really to discuss? It is pretty much understood that body hair needs to go away. End of discussion.

But, being a single woman who happens to be quite lazy when it comes to body hair maintenance, I really needed to know a few things. You see, I have found myself a precarious situation many times; I am invited back to someone’s house, sex is inevitable, but as I take his hand and follow him out to the cab I realize that I haven’t shaved my legs. In 4 weeks.

Is this a deal breaker? Do I tell him? Do I offer a rain check on the (what is sure to be amazing) sex? Do we swing by CVS on the way home to pick up a Quattro?

I asked my resident male advice-giver to give it to me straight. First he looked at me blankly. Then he asked my feelings on beards. Then he had this to say.

He Said:
In America, unlike France and most third world countries, we like our women as hairless as possible. And despite all the time, money and pain that goes into the hair-removal process, women prep themselves daily to avoid the humiliation of being caught in public with even a few wispy strands on their legs, or–heaven forbid!–a miniscule tuft emerging from their armpits. Not even eyebrows are allowed a moment of unruliness.

Men don’t often realize how much time women put into looking hot, each and every day. When getting ready to leave the house, all guys do is shower (maybe), shave our faces (sometimes) and throw on some pants (reluctantly). Because of this, we forget how much work goes into having a perfectly groomed bikini line, or hairless legs. And because we forget, seeing hair in places we don’t expect definitely surprises us, sometimes turning us off altogether. Read More »

Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and say it. I’m really going to say it. I hope god doesn’t strike me down with a thousand lightening bolts…he might. I can’t be sure. But I’ll say it anyway:

I’m so over Brad and Angie.

What?! I know. Am I a horrible spawn of Satan? Some kind of weird robot without the capacity to love? Maybe a Russian spy…

Or maybe, just maybe, I have the good sense to call it like I see it. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are over-exposed. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are humans who have fabulous, expensive publicists to make them sound like badass, ordaned angels. They’re adopting a lot of kids really fast — but they have fabulous, expensive nannies to help them every waking moment of the day. Their acting abilities waver from pretty good (Girl, Interrupted and Fight Club) to snore-inducing unbelievable (Taking Lives and Troy). And lastly…no one in the media has any balls when it comes time to interview them. Read More »

Wimbledon 2008 kicked off today in Wimbledon, England (and I thought it was just a creative name!). In honor of this exciting event, we at CollegeCandy have put together a very handy little gallery of all the most important players at this year’s event. And by “most important players” we mean, “The hottest guys of Wimbledon.” God, we love our jobs.

 So, peruse; enjoy; tell us which one is your favorite.
And thank us later. Read More »

In a recent interview, the very-pregnant-due-any-day Angelina Jolie made it clear that she wouldn’t hesitate to pick up a gun to protect her fam from an intruder.

The mother of four (soon to be six), along with her live-in boytoy Brad Pitt, is currently residing in a palatial French mansion, and preparing to give birth to twins. Despite rumors that Ms. Jolie will not be giving birth until August, word is out that a team of nurses from L.A. have already hopped over the pond to France.

Her protective “instincts” are obviously on high alert, and Angie is definately ready to kick the ass of anyone who tries to tangle with her (seems to be an odd admittance, given her stature as a goodwill ambassador to the UN, don’t you think?). Read More »

And here it is – the finale that no one really cares about.

I’m calling Thing 2 for the win since he flew her ass out to France for this.

T2, Sinceer and Black are the last three standing either in France or in Fort Lauderdale, I still haven’t figured this out. Someone’s going home in the morning, which means that we’re probably in for a sloppy, whiny night. I guess Black and T2 are going to gang up to get Sinceer and her forehead out.

And I was totally wrong – there was no sloppy ‘please don’t eliminate me’ hook up. Flav sits with them as they eat breakfast and pretends to be saddened by the decision that he was to make. He has three tickets in his hands – one to Paris, one to Monaco and one to LA.

T2 and her ginormous gold hoops are going to Paris.

Black hopes that Flav sees her for who she is – if who you are is that pair of massive breasts, then you’re set.

Flav makes Sinceer and Black give him reasons why they should go to Monaco with him and I refuse to listen to this. Apparently Flav doesn’t want to hear it either since it’s a lot of screaming and no words. Read More »