New Semester, New Beginnings

Now that the New Year’s Day
hangovers are a thing of the past,
it’s time to trade in the warm sofa
for cold, hard desks as the spring
semester approaches. If you are
wondering how you will possibly
make it through this semester after
barely
making it through the fall semester
you are in luck, because a new semester
brings new beginnings.
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The Pissed List: Adnan Ghalib, Congress and Those Dudes Who Block the Bar

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I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Did your roommate leave dirty dishes all over your kitchen? Did your 8 am professor ‘forget’ to tell you class was cancelled? Did some girl on her cell with bad high-lights and tacky bumper stickers that say “angel” and other clever things cut you off today? Let it all hang out. I feel you. Read More »

Must-Haves for a College Night Out

toilet_paper_roll.jpgHey ladies. We all love to party right? I know I do. And with partying comes, well, some interesting circumstances. Us girls need to have the proper “equipment” when we go out, don’t we? Here’s my list of the things I never leave home without on my crazy college nights out.

1. Toilet Paper. I don’t know about you but I have had to pop my fair share of squats in the woods on the way home from God knows where. Not to mention, we’ve all been to one too many frat parties where the bathroom looked like something out of a horror movie and, of course, there’s never any toilet paper.

2. Flip flops. Heels make an outfit right?  After several hours out, however, standing (or dancing) on those heels, our little piggies need a break. Throw a pair of comfy flip flops in your bag and, if your feet are throbbing, change ‘em up. You’ll be thanking me latah.

3. Bottle of Water. No one likes a drunk, sloppy puking mess, so bringing a bottle of water to sip in between drinks is a great way to pace yourself and spread out your drinks.

4. Band Aid. You have no idea how many times me or my girl friends have either fallen, sliced a finger, ripped a hang nail, etc. Throwing one in your wallet will save you and your friends tons of trouble.

5. Shout Pen. White shirt. One too many cranberry vodkas. Nuff said. Read More »

Virginity: A Guy’s Biggest Fear

556.jpgI was a bit late when it came to losing my V-Card. Almost every one of my friends handed that thing in long (and I mean looong) before me. It wasn’t that I was waiting for loooooove, or saving myself for marriage; it was just that I had never had a boyfriend and wasn’t ready to give it up to some rando from a frat party.

I wasn’t all loud-and-proud about my virgin status and I wasn’t ashamed. I just was.

When I finally did find myself in a good relationship I decided it was time to wipe the cobwebs off the V-Card and hand that sh*t in. Ok, so maybe I didn’t treat the situation with such ease, but I did finally feel comfortable enough with someone to take the naked plunge.

I thought it was best to tell the guy straight up. I really wanted to be honest with him so he knew where I was coming from…and why it was so damn painful. So, when he began to initiate sex a little while into our relationship I laid it all on the table.

“I just want you to know that I have never been in a real relationship before.” I began.

He looked bored. Read More »

I’m an Online Dater

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It has been a few months since breaking up with the ex and while he is out telling the world that I am still calling, I have been out on the town looking for a new man to bunk up with. Being that I am not living in some big city that allows for a Carrie-Bradshaw-Revolving-Door-Of-Men type situation, I have been resorting to some new ways of scouting out the men.

Namely, internet dating.

Ah! Say it ain’t so! I must be crazy, right? But seeing as I spend my days sharing my life stories via the internet, it only makes sense that I create some of those stories that way as well. Well, that and the fact that my brother met his wife online and they had a bomb ass wedding.

So far, so good. Actually, great.

I have come to realize that there are so many benefits to online dating. For one, I can do it from the comfort of my couch. In the comfort of my underwear. While enjoying a heaping bowl of Mac and Cheese (the ultimate comfort food!). All that comfort – paired with the fact that I can hide behind the glow of my computer screen – makes the whole getting to know you period a whole lot more…well, comfortable. Read More »

Beer Pong Champions Meet Your Next Best Friend

the portopong

If I was still in college right now, I’d be peeing my pants with excitement over this awesome new development in alcoholism.

The Portopong!

Yes, yes, the summer is almost over (10 days and counting) but if you have access to a pool and a group of fun-loving friends, the Portopong is where it’s at. What college student doesn’t love a good game of pong? And in a pool no less? Yea, how about no less than amazing.

Just to make sure, we’re talking about this kind of pong, not this kind.

The Portopong is inflatable, which means you can squish it in your backpack and head over to the pool party after class. It comes with pool strings, patches for leaks and, if you buy one by tomorrow, it’s 40 bucks - 10 bucks off the normal price.

The only negative thing I can say about the Portopong is, if you’re gonna market to college students, find attractive people to sell your product. I think I see some man boobs. Read More »

Sex, Drugs, and College: How to Party Safely

cheers

With the return of classes comes the return of dorm hookups, frat parties, beer pong competitions, and keg stands. It’s all fun and games, until someone loses an eye!I don’t mean to get all Mom on you, but all of us have had at least one partying experience that ends in waking up with a hangover, vowing, “I’m never drinking again. No, seriously. Never again.”

Usually, this vow holds up until the next happy hour…

And now that shcool has started up for most of us and we are finally getting into our college routine, here comes National Campus Safety Awareness Month!

Unfortunately, when it comes to words of warning, cliché advice like “watch how much you drink” and “don’t go home with strangers” often goes in one ear and out the other, until you find yourself still tipsy, doing the walk of shame back to your dorm, heels in hand.

So, keeping in mind that you won’t be abstaining from alcohol or random hookups all together in the name of campus safety, here are my tips for keeping yourself safe: Read More »

Do you feel the Rush for “GrΣΣk”?

cast-shot1.jpgBeing in a sorority I have my reservations about ABC Family’s new show, “GrΣΣk”, since whenever a portrayal of us is attempted it’s almost always negative. Not to mention that it always drives me crazy when people spell “Greek” with sigmas in place of “E”. Every Greek knows that while “sigma” might LOOK like ‘E’, it has nothing to do with the letter; “epsilon” does. Of course epsilon is just represented by a plain ‘E’, so it’s not nearly as swΣΣt looking.

Anyway, another concern I have is that this is the kind of show I would have expected from The CW, not ABC Family. Aren’t they supposed to be strictly PG? They even have an odd advertisement gimmick where you can “rush” the frats and sorors of the show on the website. I can admit that sororities and fraternities have done a lot over the years to warrant a negative image, but it’s still a very present and ever thriving community on most college campuses, and its members are really sick of the constant fire we’re put under, personally and publicly.

I often feel like our campus does everything in their power to downplay our Greek societies, including our very own Greek office which disbanded a sorority this past spring. I think that often times our administration forgets that this is college, and these are sororities, not the Stepford Wives. As a result all of this Greek life is only about 3% of our school body, at a school which constantly complains about the lack of community on our campus. The hypocrisy is endless. Read More »

The Rules of Boozing: Getting Drunk After College

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Before I ventured out of the filthy frat basement, the sun burning my retinas, my new flats soaked with Keystone light, perhaps the slight taste of boot in my mouth, maybe lacking a little dignity and my memory for the last six hours, I just sort of assumed that Friday night would forever consist of me blacked out with pong paddle in hand. That is, until I found myself in NYC for an internship.

The free booze had dried up, there wasn’t a basement in sight, and everyone looked older than me. After deciding not to be huge sketchfest by breaking into Columbia in search of other Ivy League drinkers, I figured that the closest thing to a frat was a dive bar during happy-hour. That’s when I learned a few things about drinking outside the basement.

1. Perhaps it’s appropriate to be wasted in an actual bar, but beware of the consequences. I had this insight about when I found myself in the coat closet of some random bar with a lawyer named Hugo- oh he was about thirty, sucking on my nipples. Only after I sobered up, did I realize that perhaps I shouldn’t share this story with anyone else. Oops. Read More »

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