Wow, time really does fly when you’re having fun! I feel like it was just yesterday that Paris H. was arrested for drunk driving, thrown in jail, taken out of jail and put on house arrest, put back in jail, wrote an apology letter at the level of a third - grader, and decided to declare herself a changed woman to NBC  Larry King for a paltry sum of $1 million.

So much can happen in 23 days!

And now, as of 12:16 a.m. today, Paris is free. She has done her hard time with the grace of a true American heiress.

Her release was orchestrated with proper pomp and circumstance: she was allowed to trade her jumpsuit and handcuffs for a springy jacket and accessories and walk the cement carpet out of the block into a black Escalade, with her proud parents waiting inside. To congratulate her on a job well done, Rick and Kathy Hilton presented their daughter with flowers and an “aluminum - foil - wrapped snack.”

Bravo, Paris, brav0! I am anxiously awaiting your next performance. What will it be?