Commercials for last night’s Last Comic Standing boasted the “Most Shocking Audition Ever”. The episode started with more fanfare than a Rockin’ New Year’s Eve.

We watched a ticker in the top right-hand corner of the screen, creeping closer and closer to the moment when our minds would explode on impact after viewing the MOST SHOCKING AUDITION EVER. See that people? I used caps lock.

My heart is currently pounding with nervous anticipation. Here goes nothing!

Heeeeeeeeey! Wait a minute. I’ve been duped. The only thing truly shocking about that exchange was French Stewart’s date-rape joke. This just in: sexual assault is still not a laughing matter. Poor taste buddy. It’s clear now why he slipped into irrelevancy shortly after 3rd Rock went off the air.

I was too distracted to focus on the rest of the program. But here’s what else happened …in haiku form

Acts from two countries
Funnier than in the past
Judges picked wisely

Add a haiku or two in the comments. Two points for rhymes!

Photo: NBC.com