College brings a whole lot of new experiences, new lessons and new people. New people means new friends, right? Yeah, most of the time. But there’s a special assortment of people that you can find on any street, on any campus, in any city in the country. It doesn’t matter where you go - you have met these people before.

Like the Bible Chucker…

Ah, the caf, where you can “all you can eat” to your heart’s content (and waistline’s dismay). Also where you can find out that you’re going to Hell. Yep, nine times out of ten, this is where you will experience The Religious Fanatic. Not just a Bible thumper, but more like a Bible chucker. Yeah, no thumping for them. They throw it at you. Hard.

Far more judgmental than grandma could ever think about being (at least she’ll make you a pie after), this guy has everybody labeled a severe sinner. He’s easy to recognize as he is the only one dressed in a suit despite the fact that it may just be 80 plus degrees outside. If that doesn’t tip you off, perhaps the stack of “How To Live” pamphlets in his hand or the giant poster that says “Smoking Kills” with a stereotypical picture of Hell on it helps. Or maybe the fact that he’s old and bearded? It’s not like he’s trying to hide. He wants sinners to go to Hell and he has no problem letting you know (by screaming into a megaphone) as you attempt to scarf down that fro yo.

He sort of reminds you of the people who stood on street corners back in the day, preaching about the different religions. Only, he’s all about the hellfire and brimstone and not so much about the nice salvation part. Read More »

It’s true that upperclassmen tend to look down their noses at freshmen, particularly early in the year when they’re wet behind the ears and stumbling wide-eyed around campus. We’re not laughing at you because you’re lost, though, or because you brought a ridiculously huge couch for your 90-square-foot room. No, sophomores, juniors, seniors, chuckle at, or are continuously annoyed by freshmen, because they try too hard.

The most common insult for a freshmen: “man, that guy is trying too hard.” When coming to a competitive ivy league school, freshmen are immediately aware that the kids around them are some of the best students in the country. They probably were the small-town star of their high school, and now feel desperate to assert themselves, to still be the big fish in the rapidly expanding pond. Thus, while sitting next to a few freshmen chatting in a dining hall the other day, I was sad — sad, but not surprised — when after about 2 minutes, the test score discussions began.

“So what did you get on your SAT’s? I got ___.”

After the test scores, came the trips-to-Europe competition.

“I’ve been to Rome twice.” “Oh yeah, I went too, and Paris, and all over France as well.”

This is the epitome of Trying Too Hard, and you can see why it’s so annoying to upperclassmen. Read More »

I am never alone in college. Sure, I have the elevator to myself occasionally and sometimes my roommate is at class when I’m not, but usually there is always someone else nearby. This is drastically different from my high school experience.

Of course I would spend every high school moment from that morning bell—which seemed to ring earlier and earlier as my senior year wore on—to the final bell with my friends by my side. I was part of a bunch of different groups, all of which met after or before school and surrounded me with people. But at home, I had solitude.

With both my parents working and my brother off at college, I spent many nights doing homework, watching bad television and heating up leftovers all by myself. Some may think that would be lonely, but I really liked the peace and quiet.

It’s never quiet here. And sometimes I like it; with all the commotion, I haven’t had time to get homesick or have a culture shock freak out. There’s a feeling of community when I walk around campus and see someone I know or when I strike up a conversation with a stranger in the dining hall. Yet every once in awhile I realize… I never have a moment to myself. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the wierdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus.  Join the Overheard revolution!  Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

Strange, silly and awkward things overheard on campus this week:

- A lanky blonde man leans against a doorway, talking to a short-haired brunette.
“She’s really… nice, you know?” He shakes his head. “I mean, I just wanted someone to care about.”
“But a freshman?” she asks, feigning surprise. “Really!”
“Yeah. It was like fishing with dynamite.”

- Two grizzled, swarthy males stand in the dining hall.
“Man, I can’t believe there aren’t any forks,” remarks one, his thick lower lip turned in a pout. He moves one finger toward his collar unconsciously.
His friend looks sadly at the empty racks. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t even know anyone who uses spoons.”

- Across the dining hall, a guy stands up and starts singing “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” from Mulan . About three quarters of the table joins in within seconds. One other guy grabs his tray, gets up and stalks away. “I thought we were done with this,” he says, darkly.

- Down the hallway, a pink-faced man is tying a lumpy plastic bag to a door. As I pass by, he looks up and smiles conspiratorially.
“It’s ladybugs,” he says. Read More »

You do it every year without fail. There’s a string of weeks where you’re nice and organized with all your notes in the right folders, laundry done as soon as you’re running low on undies and putting everything where it belongs. And then, you forget your planner and decide you don’t feel like really carrying it, or you’re too tired to do that load of laundry…

Okay, it might not happen to you, but it happens to me.

Barely two weeks into the semester, and my room is still pretty navigatable, but far from clean. I can’t see the desk calendar where I put all of my due dates and meetings down anymore. I just don’t have the patience to be neat. I’m sure it’s a problem – I’ve been messy all my life – but I don’t really feel like fixing it. Read More »

Welcome to college, freshmen!

You may have made it through Welcome Week without any run-ins with the campus police (congrats!), but you still have plenty of opportunities to meet them up close and personal.

There are going to be many times this year and well into your college career that you will find yourself surrounded by alcohol. And, naturally, you are going to want to partake. Just beware–while you are navigating the university party scene, your RA’s, Campus Police, and Public Safety units are gearing up to bust underage revelers.

Here are some tips on how you can avoid getting written up before your first semester is over.

1. Don’t act like ‘The Freshman.’

Just because you suddenly have access to alcohol, it doesn’t mean you need to consume ALL of the alcohol at once. Even if the cops are out and about, they don’t have the manpower to hunt down every single underage boozer. So, they’ll zero in on the kid stumbling around with a trash can on his head before thinking twice about the passive mingler. The same goes with your RA, who really doesn’t want to walk in on you peeing in the corner of elevator. Read More »

Two days into freshman year I went to my first frat party. Walking into the Greek lettered doors made me feel like I had just stepped onto a movie set. Everyone had red solo cups! Everyone was dancing and having oodles of fun! And Oh my god! Is that an ice-luge!? Yeah, best night of my life…until the cops came.

Regardless, for the next two years I lived and loved the open frat parties. I thought our love affair would never end…and then, this past weekend we broke up. Now, I still enjoy the small frat mixers but the crazy parties, have gotten…well, old. “Why? What could be better than living in an animal house world?” You ask.

Well, here are my top five answers.

The abundance of scantily clad freshmen. Sure, I was once a freshman myself, and being away from home and being able to wear and do whatever you want is exciting, but eventually you will regret wearing a bandana-sized piece of cloth as a top.  And I’m all for sex and I’m all for dancing but do you really need to attempt both simultaneously on the dance floor in front of everyone? It seems these open parties contain about 80% girls and about 75% of those are freshmen girls. Trust me ladies, the body shot phrase will get old, and I’m over watching it.

One word: Keystone. Really guys, Keystone Light, at every party? Keystone has got to be one of the grossest, cheapest liquids ever created. Spring for something a few notches higher. I’m not saying I expect margaritas to be blended before my eyes (although that would be amazing) but there are better beverages out there than Keystone. PLEASE switch it up! Boxed wine would be an immense step up for just as much money! Get some class, guys. Read More »

It’s September 2nd, which means we must tuck our bikinis back in their drawers, slather ourselves in aloe vera, and hang our heads low as we mourn the coming end of summer. This also means that school is starting again, and for incoming college freshmen this brings a whole new kind of dread.

Sure, you’re excited to meet new people, take classes you chose out of your course catalog, and maybe even explore a new city. But there are things to worry about. A lot of them. Maybe it’s that you’re living away from home for the first time, or living across the country. There are more things you need to be prepared for than just athlete’s foot in the communal showers (plastic sandals will take care of that).

As someone who survived four years and two colleges and managed to graduate with all four of my limbs and at least a bit of dignity, I feel I should imbue on you, humble reader, ten important lessons and tips to help you enjoy college safely and happily, from picking classes to surviving alcohol poisoning.

1. Make orientation week count. I skipped a lot of the activities scheduled for orientation week and later came to regret it. I didn’t want to wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston, but what I didn’t realize is that a lot of people did wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston and, in doing so, met all those other people who got up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston. You’re not going to meet people if you hole up in your room, so go out as often as you can.

2. Taste-test classes. So you didn’t get into that History of Watching TV class you really wanted to take, go to the first class or two anyway. You’ll be amazed at how many people drop out of the class and a space for you may become available. The same goes for a class with a bad teacher. If sucky prof is teaching a general ed class you have to take, visit the same class taught by a different teacher. In my experience, a great teacher can make any class interesting and enjoyable. Read More »