There’s a magical wonderland I’ve dreamed up in my make-believe social circle where people only date people who their friends don’t know. There are unicorns and wizards and lots of parties and gatherings that are NOT awkward in this wonderland. Unfortunately, this is a magical wonderland. Not reality.

In reality, we’re all very disturbingly gross, incestuous lovers. Not only do most of my friends know the guys I date, but most of the guys I date know the other guys I date. It’s really fun, let me tell you. But I’m not the only one jumping through these intertwined romantic hoops. Many a friend of mine, actually, has dated another friend of mine. It seems to be the way the world works.

This is all fine and dandy until the couple starts paddling down good ol’ sh*t creek. It starts with a complaining IM message, email, text, or phone call. One friend is coming to you to have a heart to heart about what friend number two did wrong to hurt his or her feelings. And just like a Los Angeles smog, awkwardness starts seeping down from the sky and choking the entire room.

What am I supposed to say in these situations? Which friend am I more loyal to? What the f*ck? Read More »

If my alma mater offered a degree program for being a wingman, I’d have graduated valedictorian, magna cum laude, and have seven thousand honors cords around my neck commemorating my achievements.

Instead, I have friend-couples (you know, the couples you were friends with before they were couples) sprinkled through my social calendar, all with their own cute little anecdotes and acknowledgments that without me, they probably would’ve given up halfway through.

One of my best friends even said that she wished I had a me, so that I could be dating someone, too.

If you’re pausing because, hold up, the best way to have a me is for her to a be a me, that’s what I thought too. I tried to explain that to her. Read More »