We Wanna Eff Leo DiCaprio
I’m not embarrassed to admit that
when I was in 7th grade, I had 102
pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio on my
wall. My room was a virtual DiCaprio
museum. I owned a copy of Baz
Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet and I had
seen Titanic more than twice, Jack’s
death causing me to sob each and every
time like I had lost a member of my own
family. You see, I was in love with Leonardo.
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Dude - What. A. Week.

tired_baby-whew.jpgT.G.I.F.

Remember when that meant a night of Full House and Family Matters? Now it just means a night of heavy drinking followed by a day of serious sleeping. And I still love it just as much.

This week was a long one. We lost Estelle Getty. Our boyfriend, Christian Bale, was arrested for yelling at his mother. And we found out that all the not-so-hard work we are putting into college isn’t worth crap anymore. Awesome.

But even though another week has passed, crazy girls are still around, we are still too picky when it comes to picking boys, and freaky guys are still all about peeing on us in bed. WTF?

Maybe we should stick to being single? It is far too hard to find a tall guy anyway. And getting into a relationship only means adding another ex to the list…who you will never be able to avoid thanks to our generation’s problem with oversharing.

Ugh. I need a shot.

At least boys are starting to appreciate more comfortable undies. I’ll keep that thought close to my heart as I enjoy yet another awesome summer weekend.

Candy Dish: Live from prison, it’s the Dark Knight!

Christian Bale

Live from prison, it’s the Dark Knight!

LOL, Jessica Simpson wants to be a singer!…Wait, but, um, isn’t she?

Speidiwood: punishing the troops, one Iraq trip at a time

Oh, she’s just being Lindsay–I mean Miley–I mean…THEY’RE THE SAME!?!

Remember when Dina Lohan won an award for motherhood?

In other news, this 12-year-old makes me feel really bad about myself

I don’t know if this is better or worse than a tequilla shot

I. Hate. Happy. Couples. Even if they’re dirty hipsters.

It takes a certain type of person to fight at a Waffle House–and his name is Kid Rock

Wendy Williams vs. Omarosa: fight to the death. No, really, please?

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