[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“…So they broke up, and that’s fine - but you know what, lots of people break up! Lots of people get dumped! He’s been moping about her for longer than they were going out! I don’t want to have to fall back on gender stereotypes to make my point here, but if this doesn’t stop I am going to buy him a vibrator for his birthday! For his vagina!”

Two boys and a girl in a pizza restaurant:
Boy 1: “I like your sweater.”
Boy 2: “Oh, thanks! I like my sweater too.”
Boy 1: “Y’know, it’d look really good if you wore a white tank top under that, pulled the collar down a bit - just so a bit of the tank top’s visible.”
Girl: “Bob? Why are you talking about this?”
Boy 1: “Hey, I love fashion and I think it’s something I have the authority to speak on!”
Girl: “Listen, Bob, if you want to have sex with my boyfriend, just do it, okay? It’s fine.” Read More »

You date, you learn. And you’d think that the people you date will just vanish of the face off the earth, because it’s only polite, right? You dealt with the waves of nausea and anxiety during the end-phase, and so they should bother you no longer.

“Should” being the key word.

I’m a fan of amicably parting ways, sure, but when you pointedly don’t is the guaranteed time that son of a bitch will come back to haunt you. So as a preventative measure you weed them out. You try to be proactive and delete them from your phone—number, email, all of it, and even those text messages and voicemails you like to listen to.

Have faith, you’ll find a new distraction, let down your guard because this one’s different, and the cycle can repeat itself all over again. Joy. In any case, you make moves and move on, and the ex, or pseudo-ex, or whatever you called him is but a distant memory.

If you haven’t guessed by now, the weeding out can bite you in the ass. Please, dear readers, learn from my mistakes. Read More »

The semester’s off and running, the weather’s getting worse, and next summer feels like an eternity. It’s easy to find your mood plummeting, your motivation waning, and your usually chipper self turning into a snappy betch. Misery has a snowball effect: you’re grumpy, and it rubs off on your roommate; you’re already in a bad mood, and walking into a pop quiz can set you over the edge. Before the blahs take over your body, take time to stop, breathe, recharge and rejuvenate. Here are five quick pick-me-ups to get you out of a funk.

1. Sleep: You’ve been up at the crack of dawn every morning to hit the gym, struggle to stay awake through three back-to-back classes, rush to your part-time job, and finally head home to tackle several hours worth of homework. Of course you’re feeling dreary! Lack of sleep can have adverse psychological effects– take it from a girl who is known to burst into tears at the slightest provocation after pulling an all-nighter or two– so even if you can’t fit in a full eight hours of sleep a night, treat yourself to a long, comatose nap. When you wake up, you’ll be more energetic and alert, so it might even boost your studying stamina later in the week.

2. Treat Yourself: You’ve been running on empty for weeks, neglecting yourself in order to make a good impression on your professors, sorority sisters, friends, coworkers, etc. Do something nice for yourself. If you have some extra cash, buy yourself a new outfit. If you think you look good, you’re bound to feel good, too. Low on cash? Scrape together some change and download a couple of jams on i-Tunes. I mean, they’re only 99 cents most of the time– you deserve it! Get a track that will raise your spirits, like Flo Rida’s “In the Ayer,” DJ Laz’s “Move, Shake, Drop Remix” or, for a bubblegum pop sound, The Orion Experience’s “Obsessed with You.” Then, crank up your speakers and have your own personal dance party for a few minutes. It’ll be worth it. Read More »