Breaking news: orgasms are fun. They’re so much fun, in fact, that the pursuit of orgasm is responsible for the vast majority of irrational human behavior, from the continued popularity of Jessica Alba to the purchase of clothing from American Apparel. (Dov Charney’s top secret marketing strategy: “Dude! Buy some ethically produced hologram pants! We’ll totally get you off.”) Yet, according to the 2000 Orgasm Survey, 72 percent of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their current or most recent relationship.

This, ladies, is unacceptable. If you’re faking, then not only are you depriving yourself of some much-needed enjoyment, you’re keeping your partner from learning what makes you tick. (The 2000 Orgasm Survey also revealed that 55 percent of heterosexual men thought their girls always reached orgasm. And why shouldn’t they? They’re used to the sound of our LIES.) The only good reason to fake orgasm is that you haven’t yet learned what you like. And we can take care of that problem. Yes, indeed.

Come along, gentle reader, as we browse the aisles of the pro-lady sex store Babeland, and point out the best of their stock. No two people come alike, but, having done substantial research in the Land of Babes, I can safely say that these toys are both popular and well beloved. If you’re looking to figure out your body, these are a good way to start. Read More »

• I’m going to live forever. Turns out one or two orgasms a week can increase your life span.

• VIDEO - Get the Lindsay Lohan Tan. The E channel’s frighteningly fantastic new series “Sunset Tan” shows that you are never to young to have orange skin.

• You want to stick a needle in my where? The G-shot promises he’ll never miss your G-spot again.

• Celebrities in the Clink. Yes Paris is in jail, but what about those other celebs that have posed so graciously for Johnny Law?

• Tourfilter.com - A website that notifies me when all my favorite bands are coming to town??? The hell you say.

• Increase your odds on the Booty Call. Introducing Booty Grazing.

• VIDEO - “I’m the little lad that loves Berries and Cream.” - Learn the dance.

• Toe Cleavage. Hot or not?

• Jones-ing for Spoon? The indie gods are releasing a new song
a day in anticipation of their forthcoming release GaGaGaGaGa. Check it out.

• Film Fashion. Red carpet looks from the 2007 MTV Movie Awards.

Ah, the G-Spot. The ellusive, why- the -hell -can’t -any -guy -seem -to -find -it sexual jackpot. While men seem to be able to just thrust around for, I dunno, a nanosecond before they’re fine, us ladies are left…only slightly close to something maybe kinda near an orgasm.

Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating slightly. There are some guys out there that will put some effort into making sure their woman is satisfied. I think it’s more that they like to hear that they’ve made you happy then actually making you happy, but I’m a little bitter right now towards men. Forgive me.

If you’re just desperate to enhance your sexual experience, you can now spend $1,800 every four months for the G-Shot, an injection meant to expand your G-Spot. The collagen that women have been injecting into their lips for years to create a more pillowy, Angelina Jolie look can now be used to blow up that special place. It expands the money spot into the size of a quarter, and though results may vary, it just might possibly better your booty time.

Now, I have a couple of qualms with this. One—have these women never heard of the clitoris? Has it not been scientifically proven that the woman’s clit is the equivalent to the man’s dick? Is it that hard to have your man, or yourself reach on down there and rub a little? Or what about just a really great, extended foreplay session? Read More »