[Like a magpie, you gravitate towards things that are shiny: cell phones, TVs, anything that allows you to play Rock Band. But just because you love ‘em doesn’t mean you know much about ‘em. That’s where we come in. Every week we will be highlighting the best, coolest and shiniest in technology. Consider us your personal Geek Squad. And let us tell ya; with CC on your side, geek has never looked so chic.]

So who’s a fan of Adult Swim? I know I am.

Ever wonder who the rapper with the high pitched voice is on ATHF? You know MC Peepants/MC Vald. That would be real Nerdcore rapper, MC Chris.

I know what you’re thinking right now: what the hell is “Nerdcore”? Well think Weird Al Yankovic’s “White and Nerdy,” but, you know, BETTER.

Nerdcore is a genre of hip hop, but instead of rapping about ho’s, bling, and money, they rap about games, computers, and other fun geek stuff. I mean they talk about boobies too, but it’s just different. Read More »

Post-college geeks aren’t the same as in-college geeks. These aren’t hipster boys who wear horn-rimmed glasses or cardigans with elbow patches. These boys aren’t geek chic. Post-college geeks are a special breed of boy. They are the freaks from Freaks & Geeks, and not in an ironic way. They played Dungeons & Dragons in high school (and maybe still secretly do) and can name all the aliens that appear in the Mos Eisley Cantina in “Star Wars.”

And they’re surprisingly date-able.

I sat down the other night with two of my geekiest friends, Patrick and Jeff (not their real names), to discuss geek love. I asked them why a girl should date a geeky guy, and they gave me an intricate look at the geek lifestyle and how it translates into relationships.

First, we lay down the definition of a geek. They explain to me the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork. In their opinion, dorks and nerds are both socially awkward beings –– dorks because they’re too dumb and nerds because they’re too smart. A geek, on the other hand, is the perfect specimen.

“How do you approach a girl you have a crush on?” I ask.
“I do that?” Patrick asks back. Jeff explains to me that geeky guys don’t approach girls they like in order to ask them out. Out of a fear of rejection, they try to be friends first. I ask the guys how well this works out, they agree: not well. Read More »

Are you in love with a geek? Got a few proud-to-be-nerd friends? Have a parent who’s still so into Star Wars you’re amazed that they ever got married and ending up having you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions and still can’t seem to find the perfect holiday present for the techie in your life, here’s a list of gifts that are sure to tickle their flash drive.

• AnnoyATron – ($9.99) – If you know someone who gets a kick out of watching people squirm, buy them a cheap and easy way to be the bane of their co-workers’ (or professor’s) existence! The AnnoyATron is a tiny device that once hidden, emits loud beeping sounds without any real rhythm. After a few minutes, most victims will probably go crazy trying to figure out what they’re hearing. A high tech version of the old cell phone prank. Nice.

• Micro Spy Remote – ($8.99) – Another way to piss people off! This tiny universal remote has the ability to change the channel on almost any television set. Whether your nerd is at the doctor’s, in a bar, or just at a friend’s house, stealthily changing the channels is sure to either A) confuse the hell out of people, or B) make them think they have a ghost. And believe me, when people really think there’s a ghost controlling their TV…it’s hilarious. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 76
Mood: Amused

Daniel B sat down at the table across from me, setting a giant coffee cup in front of him and dropping some heavy books on the table.

“So, what page are those problems on that you wanted to take a look at?”

Just like Daniel, wasting no time getting down to business. Idle chatter made him uncomfortable. He could talk for hours about numbers and equations, but ask him about the weather or his favorite food and he’d tense up; his hands turning into fists and his adam’s apple sliding up and down in a constant rhythm.

I wondered if he had friends who he could relax with. I wondered if he had any friends at all.

“The ones on 154 and 159. I’ve been trying to do them on my own, but I don’t know if I’m getting the right answer.” Pushing my tea of the way, I set my own book on the small café table. I liked coming to the cafe at night. Even though it was inside the student center, it was mostly quiet after nine, and ever since that uncomfortable incident with Sasha and his “buddies”, I hadn’t seen a single person I recognized at any of the tables.

“These?” Daniel B. ran his finger down the page, pushing his glasses up with his other hand. “These are easy. You shouldn’t be having a problem.”

Another thing about Daniel B., he rarely filtered his thoughts from his mouth. Whatever he thought, he said. Even if it could be construed as insulting. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 58
Mood: totally freaking out

“So how do you combine these two molecules again?”

Sasha looked up, his adorable forehead knotted in frustration. I knew the answer, but something about his eyes catching mine stopped the flow of language to my mouth.

“It’s simple. You should have it in your notes. Here.” Grabbing Sasha’s notepad, Daniel Breely began to flick his pen across the page, shaking his puffy-haired head and mumbling under his breath.

I met Daniel B. (he insists everyone ad the “B”) during orientation, and quickly realized he would be a good ally to have. He’s one of those tall, skinny guys who wear pocket protectors with pride and he actually eats lunch at a table marked with handmade signs proclaiming “Caution, Geeks” and “Dorks Do it Better” in red marker. He’s got a reputation on campus as being the most genuine nerd alive.

He also helps people study for tests for $10 an hour.

Hiring Daniel B. to help Sasha and I with our Chem midterm was my idea. Needing some way to calm my anxiety about the whole Soccer House scandal, I decided having the most mind-numbingly flat personality in the world sit between Sasha and I would ease the tension.

Nothing but work would be talked about while Daniel B. was around. It was written in his “freelance tutor” contract.

“Hey, Grace?” Breaking my concentration on Daniel B’s tower of hair, Sasha leaned over, “What are you doing after this?” Read More »

Nerds and Sorority girls. They go together like a John Hughes movie and the 80’s.

Which is probably why Washington State’s Linux Users Group (the university’s largest computer club) has decided put out a memo to all the sororities on campus: “Make us over, and we’ll do your homework.”

In an effort to attract more women to the computer science program (and get a free haircut), the “nerds” of WSU’s Linux Club plan to host a “nerd auction”.

“You can buy a nerd and he’ll fix your computer”, their website explains, “help you with stats homework, or if you’re really adventurous, take you to dinner!”

But before the computer loving dudes go through with the auction, they’re looking for a few good sorority girls to make them more appealing.

“If anyone’s going to bid on us, we’ll need some spicing up. And who better to help with that than sorority girls who like nothing better than a makeover?”

While the whole “Beauty and the Greek” (sound familiar to anyone?) event is still in the planning stages, WSU’s computer program has garnered national attention because of it.

Will the idea bring more chicks into the lives of these self-described nerds? Of course!

Will the girls stick around? No f*cking way. Read More »

After writing a little bit about Second Life, I got to thinking about the types of people who play it. And then I got to thinking about the sex lives of those people. And then I shuddered a little, but also wondered:

Do geeks make good boyfriends?

Because the internet is all expansive and all knowing, someone has already answered that question for me in a convenient, numbered fashion.

Many of the reasons are funny, and most make a lot of sense. Like number 6:

“[geeks] are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.”

Having never dated a tried and true Geek before (although I did have a brief fling with someone who was a closet nerd…which wasn’t the reason we broke up…as far as he knew), I’m not the biggest expert on socially awkward people in relationships. However, the guy geeks I’ve been acquainted with over the years do tend to treat their girlfriends with an amazing amount of care. Read More »