So Adriana Lima and her VS 2008 Fantasy bra are pretty damn spectacular, but what’s a normal girl to do when in need of a little lift’n’seperation (minus 1500 carats’ worth of MAJOR chafing)?

There’s no need to shell out that 5 mill, girlfriend (because you were totally considering it and all); some of the best bras within your reach will do just as great of a job supporting your own gems, and you won’t need to take out an insurance policy on them. Read More »

[I am a Cosmo devotee. Have been since I started stealing my mom’s when I was twelve. I am amazed monthly by the hair, the witty captions, and their never ending innovation of synonyms for the word penis. Many of my friends, acquaintances, relatives and sisters swear by Cosmo as their Bible (and for the most part I do too). But there are some times (well…many times) when Cosmo’s take on real world situations is - in a word - whack.

I will still accept their declarations of lip gloss superiority like they were handed down from the divine, but when it comes to their interpretation of all things men (or at least all things greatly generalized and stereotyped), I think I’ll be reading with a grain of salt handy.

And I’ll pass that grain onto you. With every passing month and, in turn, every new “Secret Sex Fantasy Guys Won’t Tell You!” revealed, I will be here to break it all down for you. I will find the truth buried deep between the unsafe sex positions and “things he secretly loves you for,” so you don’t end up with a stiff neck, an angry boyfriend or some seriously embarrassing sexcapades.]

This month: 75 Crazy-Hot Sex Moves. Inevitably, variations of the same “ingenious” sex moves, tips tricks, “advice from real guys” (oddly enough, 19-24 year old males speak in the exact manner of Cosmo’s writers) are published every other month. November’s issue does not disappoint, but there were a few gems that even a die-hard Cosmo Girl just ain’t down for.

#2. “Intensify his orgasm by placing two fingers an inch behind his balls and feeling for a dent…For the last 30 seconds before he comes, massage the spot in a circular motion.”

Ok, I’m all for orgasm intensification, but not at the stake of my man’s butthole. Even Cosmo shows a little uncertainty about anal relations (“It’s totally cool…but make sure it’s ok with him first.”—they don’t include a disclaimer about permish before any of their other moves…), so I’m not so ready to venture that close while my target is rapidly thrusting and moving every which way. Additionally, there are tell tale signs that a guy is about to orgasm, but I don’t know if I’m skilled enough to identify them half a minute in advance. Cosmo has this very odd way of giving hyperprecise timing instructions for many of their moves… Read More »