Ending a relationship with someone, no matter how long you’ve dated, is never an easy thing. You have to face someone and tell them – in more or less words – that you don’t want to be with them anymore. For many, it can be quite devastating to the heart (not to mention, the ego).

So, how do you deal?

Some go for the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. It makes sense; it’s always easier to come up with some reason that conveniently puts the blame on you rather than telling your soon-to-be ex that he really isn’t that funny and you’d rather stab your eyes out with a fork than hear another one of his lame jokes. And, sure, by doing so, you save face and spare their feelings, but ultimately, you’re not being completely honest if you can’t come out and tell them exactly why you’re ending it.

If I’ve ever had to break up with someone, I always try to be as honest as possible, but keep his or her feelings in mind. For example, when my ex and I of four years were falling apart (and even though I still loved him at the time) I knew I had to cut the cord. When I sat him down to discuss why we needed to break up, I was honest: we were killing each other, fighting all the time and I knew it wasn’t going to get any better, ever.

It was an incredibly hard conversation to have, but after 4 years, I felt he deserved that respect. Read More »

When CC recently published a post about long-term relationships, I was really impressed by the lengths of time some of you guys divulged you’ve been with your partners. Rock on! I see how the single life can be fun, but as a girl who really would rather poke her eyes out with Popsicle sticks than have a different hookup every week, it’s so nice to know that there are others out there who are happy with their long-term relationships.

People say life is boring when you’re in a really long relationship, but who are they kidding? Personally, I’ve never been happier. I love my long-term relationship because:

1. I have a built-in best friend.
Probably not everyone is best friends with their significant other, but I think a lot of people in long-term relationships are. I don’t always think about my boyfriend in a romantic way—sometimes I just think of him as someone who I want to call and share my good news with or someone who I want to hang out with because I know for sure that he can make me laugh. He’s always there for me, and not just as somebody to love, but as a true best friend.

2. I don’t have to be perfect.
When you’re in it for the long haul, you don’t always have to put your best foot forward. I remember having first (and second, and third) dates with people where I felt like I had to try my best to be funny and pretty and all-around wonderful. Since I have been with my boyfriend for several years and countless dates, both he and I know that I’m not always that way (he isn’t perfect, either, of course), and we’re OK with that. Sometimes I’m grumpy or rude or not very good-looking, and he just doesn’t care. It makes me feel so happy. Read More »

Why does breaking up suck so much? No, I don’t mean the broken hearts, the swapping of past birthday / anniversary / Valentine’s gifts, or the empty void on his half of the bed. I mean, why does the actual act of breaking up suck so much?

You’re in a relationship. Obviously, there’s something compatible between you and your partner. But once the break-up hits, BAM! Everything changes. It’s very difficult to get back to the friendship level, if possible at all.

Breaking up doesn’t just mean you’ve lost a mate, but a really good friend as well. In fact, you’ve probably lost several friends, because now it’s taboo for either of your own friends to associate with the other’s ex. It could also mean you’ve lost a confidante, a study pal, a Guitar Hero partner (or the entire game, if it was his!), a personal chef, or whatever your now-ex used to do that made the relationship special.

It also means a definite disturbance in many, most, or all of your daily routines. Whether you called each other every day to talk through your commutes to school, or you were living together, suddenly, there’s something missing. And even if the break-up was necessary or inevitable, that void is a gaping hole in your life. That keeps getting bigger. And just won’t go away. Read More »

So you have this boyfriend and you are so totally smitten. He is smart, he treats you well and he happens to be 3 inches taller than you…perfect. Things are going really well and you guys are gettin’ pretty serious; he has even met the parentals.

Huge!

And then you catch him at the bar downing a beer with some trampy blonde bimbo. What. the. hell? Is he really flirting right in front of you? Does he want to take this girl home? Is he trying to get into her (ugly/slutty) pants? She has nice boobs, yes, but does he even realize WHAT HE IS THROWING AWAY?

Hold on a second. Maybe you are over-reacting? Is there really something wrong with a little harmless flirting in a relationship? He is comin’ home with you, after all. Maybe it’s totally innocent. Maybe he’s telling that whore about his amazing girlfriend! And if not, he’s still comin’ home with you, right?

We asked our boy advisor to weigh in on this touchy (did you catch that pun? HA!) subject. Here is what he had to say. Read More »

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »

Oprah makes more a year than you can imagine

Stop. Playing. That. SONG

So…does this mean we can’t swim here?

One time when obesity works for you

Top 10 college towns for night owls

What if Kevin Arnold never grew up?

Devil Dog!!

Mom, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend…and my girlfriend

Where are they now: Reality Stars

Glamorize the life of a Call Girl?

Word on the street is that Glamour has perfected the recipe for engagement (literally. It’s chicken.) And while this is all well and good for you ladies on the hunt for that rock, some of us aren’t exactly ready to take that plunge….we could however, always use a little culinary nudge in the right direction for the object(s) of our affection.

So whether you want your best friend to fall in love with you, you’re hoping to prove that you’re girlfriend material, if you want that relationship confirmation on Facebook– I present to you, Seal the Deal Steak. Not only will you woo your lucky dining partner with your grillin’ skillz, you will hopefully secure that next step. And the best part? While the end result will look like you slaved away in the kitchen all day, the meal couldn’t be simpler to create.

It worked for me (I still get requests from my boo to make this), so give it a try and let’s test the success rate!

What you’ll need:
Two cuts of beef of your preference. I use Filet Mignon because it usually has the nicest marbling and is most often the leanest. However you can subsitutue with strip, for a stronger beef flavor (a male favorite) or porterhouse, which is fattier with a richer flavor (just be prepared to work around the bone with this kind.)
1 lemon
2 medium sized baking potatoes
1 bunch Asparagus
4 oz. Baby Portobello mushrooms
Seasoning Salt
Cooking twine
A steamer with basket
Small saute pan
*Optional
1 cup chicken broth
Bearnaise Sauce (I cheat and use the store bought packets)
1 whole French baguette Read More »

I have been in a relationship for over 4 1/4 years. I mean, with one guy.

That’s right: I have gone out with, made out with, slept with only one man since I was 19 (before that…well, let’s not go there). And we’ve lived together since I was 21.

I mean, it sounds kind of lame. One guy over and over for most of my adult formative years…how could I possibly have time to grow as a person? Easy–by following these simple (and unspoken) rules:

(1) Don’t merge personalities
You know those couples who are attached at the hip? Don’t be that couple.
First of all, everyone else hates them.
But, more importantly, it kind of limits your ability to become a person on your own terms. For sure, do lots of things together. But do some things apart, too. Don’t let either one of you have all the control in the relationship, and certainly don’t spend all of your time lounging on the couch and doing nothing year after year.
Frankly, those kinds of relationships end in breakup… or homicide. Read More »

There are lots of things you don’t know about a man when you meet him at a bar. Like, where he lives. Or who he knows. Or, sometimes, his name (which makes the phone number exchange mighty awkward the next morning). It is all part of the mystery, the fun…and the nature of the situation. Usually it’s better that way; knowing that kid likes Star Wars is not going to help set the mood.

Or, I don’t know…knowing he has a girlfriend?

I found myself in that precarious situation this past weekend. I was hangin’ out when I was approached by a fine specimen of a man. He was tall, dressed really well and his smile made me melt. We totally hit it off and soon found ourselves making out in the bar like we were Freshmen at a frat party.

He invited me back to his place and, eagerly, I obliged.

When we arrived back at his place – which was a far cab ride from my own abode – he went to the kitchen to get some much needed water and I started to look around. And I began to notice a recurring theme: cute kissy photos of him and a very adorable looking girl. Tons of them. Everywhere.

Clearly, this boy had a girlfriend. Read More »

Seriously, how awkward is the break-up convo? In the words of 90s one-hit-wonder Nada Surf, “even if you’ve gone together for only a short time, and haven’t been too serious, there’s still a feeling of rejection when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company.”

Sometimes, I think finding out that your mate has cheated is a blessing in disguise, because you can sidestep the entire “this isn’t working” discussion and end things in an explosive fight instead. Of course, for those of us who just had to choose nice, faithful boys, it can be hard to let the poor guy down. So, we make up excuses. Sometimes we even lie. Read More »