Here’s the scene: You walk into your favorite coffee shop on Friday evening after class. You’re fumbling for your wallet and about to order a mocha latte when you notice a pretty cute guy sitting across the room. As if on cue, he looks up and notices you, too. You both smile and redirect your gazes to the ground.

“Ma’am?” says the barista. “Can I help you?”

Right. So after you finally get your coffee, you amble over by the cute dude’s table and strategically sit near him. After a few minutes of awkward eye contact, he gathers up his stuff and asks if he can sit with you. Score, right? You abandon all thoughts of starting your paper early as you gaze into his hazel eyes and find out that you both love cheese fondue and college basketball. As it grows dark outside, he mentions he has to leave, so you take a deep breath and get up the courage to ask him The Question: “Hey… do you wanna hang out again sometime?”

And here’s the answer: “Oh. Um… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just see you around.”

OUCH!

Congratulations—you’ve liked a guy who doesn’t like you back. We’ve all been there. But is it really as bad as it seems? Read More »

Dear Engaged Friends,

So, congratulations! Have you picked a date? Done the dress shopping? Gone cake tasting? Picked the esteemed members of your bridal party? Great! So if we could take a minute to shift the focus over to me? Yeah.

You’re freaking me out.

Early, early, early 20s are not a time when the general “you” should be worried about marriage, especially when I can’t even decide whether I want to go to grad school or work or what. And yet, you’re kind of making me think I should be worried. I mean, isn’t everybody in the dating game right now, yourselves excluded? Aren’t most pople our age single? Don’t you know that marriage is supposed to be forever and divorces are really expensive and, frankly, so are weddings (especially on the east coast—eep)?

And also, are you going to get all judgy all of a sudden? I’m still the delinquent “single friend” who can’t land a boyfriend for more than a couple months at a shot, I have no life direction as yet (but we’re hoping, any day now, for an epiphany)… Are you going to keep giving me that “I’m judging you without trying to seem that way” look while continually asking how my dating life is going? Because I can tell you already: I’m really not going to meet anyone anytime soon. I’m pretty sure I’m bad at the dating game and I probably can’t even find someone to commit to being my date at your wedding to keep me from looking as alone and pathetic as I apparently am…

No, it’s fine. I’ll be at the bar, don’t worry about it.

Wait; you are having an open bar, aren’t you? Read More »

It is no secret that it doesn’t take much to freak out a guy in a relationship. I once dated a guy who would ask me to come over and hang out, but then go nuts and say we were spending too much time together.What?

Anyways, in efforts not to be crazy or overbearing or, “let’s start saving for our grandchildren,” I (and I am sure many girls like me) tend to hold back. I am very cautious about getting too serious too fast and scaring the boy away. I know not to introduce him to my entire extended family after our first date. I know not to get his name tattooed on my ring finger after our first sex sesh. Those things are obvious.

But what about making plans for the near future? Is that too much? Let’s ask the boys…. Read More »

You meet a really great guy: smart, funny, well-mannered, and good-looking. You seem to hit it off with him when you initiate your first conversation, and realize you have a lot in common. You’re sure this one is a lock, so you ask him out. He declines.

What?! But everything was going so well!

“I’m sorry,” he explains. “I just got out of a bad relationship, and I don’t want to get involved.” Read: he was tainted by a crazy chick.

Since the beginning of time, bad boys have been toying with women’s emotions - playing us, and hurting us. Well, guess what ladies — this isn’t the suffrage era, and some girls out there think they have the power to level the playing field. Unfortunately, these crazy girls ruin the perfectly nice boys for the rest of us perfectly nice girls.

You might think you’re in the clear, but are you? Read on to make sure you don’t fall into the “Crazy Ex Girfriend” category. And if you do, thanks; you’re the reason I’ve been single for so long. Well, at least part of the reason.

The Cheater
This ex-girlfriend broke the guy’s heart, maybe more than once. Perhaps they were together for years, and he walked in on her and his friend one night. Maybe she had multiple “flings,” and confessed them all, in tears, and he forgave her time and again. No matter what, cheating hurts for girls and guys. This girl probably made your guy weary of being cuckolded again and wore down his trust in women. He thinks you’ll cheat, and he’s not ready to be played for a fool again. Read More »

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last four years, it’s this: Girls. Dig. A**holes.

Seriously. There are a lot of us who actually ENJOY meeting - and dating – this special breed of douche.

Okay. I might be EXTREMELY overgeneralizing here, but I have seen a wide range of chicks fall for guys who treat them like absolute sh*t. I’ve seen girls who stick with their sub-par lovers for years and can’t give you a straight answer as to why they put up with it.

I probably fall into this category as well; nice guys like me all the time, yet I constantly shy away from them in favor of their more dramatic/mysterious/douchebag-y counterparts.

This might be like flossing a dead horse - or watching a Tina Fey as Sarah Palin SNL skit (again, not that I’m complaining!), but seriously, why the hell do nice guys finish last? And whose fault is it, really?

A few of my theories : Read More »

After reading a recent CC article on a book that’s supposed to expose all the reasons men cheat, I got to thinking; what’s my opinion on dudes and cheating? Someone once told me that the reason men cheat is because there’s a small part of their brain missing, a part that is conveniently lodged in their manhood, thus creating and coining the term: “Men think with their d*cks.”

So, do I believe that all men are destined to cheat? Yes and No. Here’s why.

I think everyone – male or female – can be destined to cheat on his or her significant other. I think monogamy is an extremely hard thing to achieve, no matter what gender or age. Monogamy in your 20s is especially difficult; the temptations of college parties, combined with the excessive amounts of booze, plus a heated fight with your bf or gf, can lead to you waking up in the morning thinking, “oh my God!” when you swore to yourself you’d never cheat (trust me, I’ve been there).

But do I think men are more inclined to cheat than women? Well, that depends. Personally, I think men and women cheat for different reasons. Men (and I’m not talking ALL men, so you faithful ones, don’t get your boxer briefs in a twist) cheat because, well, they see a hot piece of ass and want to pounce. Men cheat because they feel an urge (usually in their pantelones) and want to act on that urge, with someone who isn’t constantly nagging them about doing this or doing that, as us girlfriends are known to do. Read More »

I went out with a guy once. On our first date we went to dinner, and things were going so well that when he took me home I invited him in.

At which point he asked me if he could borrow a book while he “dealt with all the dairy” he had just eaten.

True story. And it ended right there; I never called him again.

I have no problem with talking about farts and poop, but I do have a problem doing so on date #1. I just don’t understand why guys feel the need to bring up the bowels when we haven’t even locked lips yet. And then there is the whole double standard; why can he fart in the car and lock the windows but I can’t even mention the fact that I poop without him cringing and curling up in the fetal position?

I asked my guy friends to break it all down for me - apparently farting is a sign of endearment. Read on… Read More »

Just because you’ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn’t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered. In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?

Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you’ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first “reunion” can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy. And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed…naked…and possiby still drunk.

How do you deal? If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.

1. The Awkward Aversion

You don’t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you’re fine not knowing. You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else’s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room. This will come off as either immature or disinterested. If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he’ll think you regret it. Unlike girls who want what they can’t have, guys are more likely to give up if you’ve bruised their ego. If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method. Read More »