After reading a recent CC article on a book that’s supposed to expose all the reasons men cheat, I got to thinking; what’s my opinion on dudes and cheating? Someone once told me that the reason men cheat is because there’s a small part of their brain missing, a part that is conveniently lodged in their manhood, thus creating and coining the term: “Men think with their d*cks.”

So, do I believe that all men are destined to cheat? Yes and No. Here’s why.

I think everyone – male or female – can be destined to cheat on his or her significant other. I think monogamy is an extremely hard thing to achieve, no matter what gender or age. Monogamy in your 20s is especially difficult; the temptations of college parties, combined with the excessive amounts of booze, plus a heated fight with your bf or gf, can lead to you waking up in the morning thinking, “oh my God!” when you swore to yourself you’d never cheat (trust me, I’ve been there).

But do I think men are more inclined to cheat than women? Well, that depends. Personally, I think men and women cheat for different reasons. Men (and I’m not talking ALL men, so you faithful ones, don’t get your boxer briefs in a twist) cheat because, well, they see a hot piece of ass and want to pounce. Men cheat because they feel an urge (usually in their pantelones) and want to act on that urge, with someone who isn’t constantly nagging them about doing this or doing that, as us girlfriends are known to do. Read More »

I went out with a guy once. On our first date we went to dinner, and things were going so well that when he took me home I invited him in.

At which point he asked me if he could borrow a book while he “dealt with all the dairy” he had just eaten.

True story. And it ended right there; I never called him again.

I have no problem with talking about farts and poop, but I do have a problem doing so on date #1. I just don’t understand why guys feel the need to bring up the bowels when we haven’t even locked lips yet. And then there is the whole double standard; why can he fart in the car and lock the windows but I can’t even mention the fact that I poop without him cringing and curling up in the fetal position?

I asked my guy friends to break it all down for me - apparently farting is a sign of endearment. Read on… Read More »

Just because you’ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn’t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered. In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?

Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you’ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first “reunion” can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy. And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed…naked…and possiby still drunk.

How do you deal? If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.

1. The Awkward Aversion

You don’t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you’re fine not knowing. You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else’s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room. This will come off as either immature or disinterested. If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he’ll think you regret it. Unlike girls who want what they can’t have, guys are more likely to give up if you’ve bruised their ego. If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method. Read More »

Dating a younger man may be taboo, but people have been doing it for years. Mrs. Robinson? Donna Martin and David Silver? Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?

Obviously, they are doing it for a reason.
Got a younger dude? Friends making fun of you for robbing the cradle?

Ignore them and keep that boy around! Here are 5 great reasons why:

1. More energy.
Okay, so this isn’t true for all younger guys, but they generally DO have more energy and enthusiasm than their more aged counterparts. That means they’ll usually be happy to try new things, they’ll expend a lot of energy doing things to impress you, and they won’t necessarily be as quick to complain as older guys will.

2. Youthful exuberance and enthusiasm.
Remember: to a younger guy, you are “the older woman.” Even if they deny it, the relationship will always be a little bit like The Graduate to them. They’ll be happy to have you, and they’ll brag to all their buddies that they’re dating you. Instead of being just another girlfriend, you’ll be a point of pride. Read More »

For a college in stereotypical Smalltown USA, I always thought that good ol’ WAC was a good progressive college, accepting of just about anybody. True, I’m in the VAST black minority in my school, even if they’re attempting to up the number of enrolled black students. But no one really seemed to ever judge me (and if they did, they did an awfully good job at hiding it), and it’s part of why I love my campus.

But I’ve noticed something that has become so frequent that it happens at least twice a week. I don’t know if it’s because we have such a large freshman class that doesn’t know me as well as the rest of the upperclassmen, or if it’s something else, but while I’m walking to lunch, at a club meeting, or in a popular hang-out spot with my girlfriend, whether we’re just holding hands, play-flirting, or giving goodbye kisses, I’ve been catching several looks. And most of them are of utter confusion and/or disgust.

After well over a year of being with my girlfriend, it’s not exactly breaking news that we’re going out. We’ve gotten looks from some upperclassmen before, sure, but it was never so frequent or so extreme as it is now. And I’m certain that these looks aren’t being given to other heterosexual couples, or even other interracial couples (which, unless they are well-hidden, I have seen none of).

It’s bad enough that when I’m home, I can barely bring my girlfriend up in conversation without feeling awkward. But to be on campus, walking down the street and holding her hand and being gawked at like we’re some kind of traveling freak show? Read More »

Listen clearly: I don’t want this to discourage you girls in LDRs or in any relationship for that matter, but something happened to me that is absolutely mortifying and humiliating and just unbelievable.

I’m the girl that was in an on-and-off relationship with a guy for eight years. Eight years. Eight long years of ups and downs, break ups, makeup sex, happy times, sad times, etc. He was my best friend. This year things changed a bit; I started college and he moved across the country. But we knew we’d be ok; we lasted this long didn’t we?

Before I left for school I visited him for three wonderful weeks. It was all lovey dovey and perfect. He was constantly telling me tat he loved me like he has for eight years, and we were going to get married, and blah blah blah.

When I got to college (about a month ago), I realized how much I disliked the school and told him how I wanted to go to New York next semester. He was really supportive and reminded me I could always transfer out there. Awww.

And then I didn’t hear from him for a few days. And then a few more days went on without contact. So I started to freak out. When I finally got a hold of him he told me we were fine, he missed me and loved me, and not to worry. So I didn’t; I figured we were back to normal.

But apparently we weren’t. No phone calls, no texts. He didn’t answer my calls or my texts. I was being ignored. I sent a long text explaining that he should want to talk to me because I was his girlfriend, and we needed to talk things out. I told him how I wasn’t mad (even though I was furious), and I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend. No answer. I got drunk (great solution to everything, eh?) and ended up calling fifteen times and sending four texts (according to my call log). Again, no answer. Read More »

Ending a relationship with someone, no matter how long you’ve dated, is never an easy thing. You have to face someone and tell them – in more or less words – that you don’t want to be with them anymore. For many, it can be quite devastating to the heart (not to mention, the ego).

So, how do you deal?

Some go for the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. It makes sense; it’s always easier to come up with some reason that conveniently puts the blame on you rather than telling your soon-to-be ex that he really isn’t that funny and you’d rather stab your eyes out with a fork than hear another one of his lame jokes. And, sure, by doing so, you save face and spare their feelings, but ultimately, you’re not being completely honest if you can’t come out and tell them exactly why you’re ending it.

If I’ve ever had to break up with someone, I always try to be as honest as possible, but keep his or her feelings in mind. For example, when my ex and I of four years were falling apart (and even though I still loved him at the time) I knew I had to cut the cord. When I sat him down to discuss why we needed to break up, I was honest: we were killing each other, fighting all the time and I knew it wasn’t going to get any better, ever.

It was an incredibly hard conversation to have, but after 4 years, I felt he deserved that respect. Read More »

When CC recently published a post about long-term relationships, I was really impressed by the lengths of time some of you guys divulged you’ve been with your partners. Rock on! I see how the single life can be fun, but as a girl who really would rather poke her eyes out with Popsicle sticks than have a different hookup every week, it’s so nice to know that there are others out there who are happy with their long-term relationships.

People say life is boring when you’re in a really long relationship, but who are they kidding? Personally, I’ve never been happier. I love my long-term relationship because:

1. I have a built-in best friend.
Probably not everyone is best friends with their significant other, but I think a lot of people in long-term relationships are. I don’t always think about my boyfriend in a romantic way—sometimes I just think of him as someone who I want to call and share my good news with or someone who I want to hang out with because I know for sure that he can make me laugh. He’s always there for me, and not just as somebody to love, but as a true best friend.

2. I don’t have to be perfect.
When you’re in it for the long haul, you don’t always have to put your best foot forward. I remember having first (and second, and third) dates with people where I felt like I had to try my best to be funny and pretty and all-around wonderful. Since I have been with my boyfriend for several years and countless dates, both he and I know that I’m not always that way (he isn’t perfect, either, of course), and we’re OK with that. Sometimes I’m grumpy or rude or not very good-looking, and he just doesn’t care. It makes me feel so happy. Read More »