The Long Distance Relationship.

It sucks, but I keep telling myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I’ve been in an on and off relationship with this guy for eight years. Yes, we first started dating when I was about ten. That’s a very long time, and we’ve been through a lot, including six month periods of not talking at all. Times where I was depressed and mopey and times where I was rebellious and happy.

He’s my best friend, my love, and the one I’m pretty confident I will be with for the rest of my life. Well, we got back together, again, and now my boyfriend has moved across the country. Yet another hurdle to overcome.

Instead of getting angry or upset, I decided to look at the situation in a positive light. I could go visit for a few weeks, and he would be home for holidays. It can’t be that bad. In fact, I just returned home from a two and a half week visit with him, and it was the most amazing trip I’ve ever had. That vacation definitely solidified everything I’ve felt about him for so long. Yes, LDRs are difficult, but they can be done. If you are willing to work through it like we are, it will be worth it in the end.

But it will be work, so here a few things to keep in mind when you and your man go long distance: Read More »

Once upon a time, there was a girl. And her friend. And a boy.

Girl meets boy, girl likes boy, girl’s like is clearly unrequited. Friend hates boy, friend grows to like boy, friend and boy go out.

And boy, did the stinky brown substance hit the fan.

Rudge from The History Boys defined history as, “one f*%king thing after another.” This can also be applied to the demise of this relationship. One argument turned into some petty fight. Over a boy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but back then, when they had a bust up, to a girl like me who’d always held the Hoes over Bros rule golden, this was sacrilege.

No, there are no happy endings, and no, they never made up. Yes, I am bitter and disillusioned, and yes, this is exactly why I don’t believe in hoes over bros anymore.

On Gossip Girl, Serena did the unforgiveable and slept with her best friend’s boyfriend. And sure, her best friend was angry and wanted revenge, but ultimately, she took her back. On One Tree Hill, Peyton nabbed Lucas’s heart, while her betrayed best friend, Brooke, was hurt. The scenario with my two friends, certainly didn’t end up like this. Three years of friendship and somehow a boy was still more important. Read More »

Is the economy killing you? Yeah? (Join the club. I can’t even afford mixers for my vodka anymore.) Don’t wanna spend money on cute clothes if you can help it? Well, rally up your girls and organize a clothing swap party. They’re fun AND you end up walking home with tons of new clothes-for free! Here is how it works:

Get together with a group of your favorite ladies – especially those with wardrobes you would kill for. Tell everyone to bring clothes to the party that they don’t wear anymore. Assign each girl to a spot on the floor where she will pile up all the goodies she brought with her.

Each girl will take turns going around the circle and holding up one of the items she brought with her. Whoever wants it can raise their hands. If more than one girl wants it, settle the score through a trivia game…or a drinking game… whichever you choose. Read More »

As that song your mother listens to on the Oldies station says, “breaking up is hard to do (oo).” Especially these days when people have all sorts of options when it comes to communication. It sometimes seems that people sit down and contemplate the absolute worst way to dump someone…and then do it.

Below is my list of the top five ways to dump someone. If any of these have happened to you, I feel for you sister; I really do.

1. Instant Message. A friend of mine was recently dumped via AIM. By her boyfriend of six months. Six freaking months and he didn’t have the decency to do this in person. The last time I was broken up with on instant messenger was in 8th grade, and even then it was barely acceptable. Any self respecting male over the age of 15 should muster up enough cojones to do their dirty work in person. Douchebags.

2. Text (Rusty Cartwright style). This method is highly unrealistic, at least in my experience. For me there would be no confirmation; the jerk would just disappear off the face of the earth until I ran into him at 1 am in sweatpants at the library. Still, the guy who employs this tactic is a little bitch, in my own humble opinion. If you are ever or ever have been dumped in this manner (or the aforementioned AIM breakup) then you probably don’t need me to tell you that honey, you are waaaay better off without that prick. Read More »

I know The Fleet has come and gone from the East coast, but now it has made it’s way to The City of Roses (Portland, OR- my city of residence) and when my friend informed me she had won tickets to this “non-denim” (yes, the tickets specified no denim) formal affair event, we had to go - it was our patriotic duty after all.

I should take a second here to clarify a few things before I really get into this story. I would like to start out by saying I fully support the troops, after all my brother is in the Navy, and when I told him I was heading out to the annual Meet the Fleet festivities his only response was a very brotherly “Don’t hook up with sailors.” Granted, I really had no intention of hooking up with these guys, I was more seeking some attractive company who would buy me drinks and could possibly turn into a pen-pal who sends me presents.

In order to maximize my odds with nabbing me a high ranking sailor I had my brother write me out a little guide on how to separate the men from the boys. With my criteria in place I was ready to meet and greet the ocean’s finest. Read More »

My girlfriends are always freakin’ out about dudes. And I can’t really blame them. After all, it is rare that you find a grown up one. And it is even more rare that you find an emotionally available one. (Who is also grown up).

It’s no wonder that so many girls obsess over the contact and signals they receive from a guy they have recently met or started a sort of relationship with. After all, this is usually a guy’s chance to pull out every asshole card he has. And how the hell are girls supposed to read that?

Either you’re dealing with a genuine asshole… Or you’re dealing with a nice guy who’s playing his asshole cards to win his upper hand with you.

And lets face it, if you catch the nice guy who is playing the nice cards…well, we never want that guy, anyway.

So how do you get him to drop his horseshit facade and call you back when YOU want him to call back?

Well, there are actually some pretty basic things to keep in mind: Read More »

We’ve all been there…right?? Getting dumped? It’s happened to us all? Yes?

…please say yes, so I don’t feel horribly sh*tty.

My mom told me over the phone today that everybody goes through the process of being totally rejected by the person you’ve been in a relationship with and were totally into. Breaking up. It’s normal. It happens.

Maybe so, mom, but it still SUCKS.

After breaking up with my FSU boyfriend of over three years (2+ years in college, 1+ year long distance - don’t do it, ever EVER ever) I had some flings, a rebound or two, and fell into a new, New York City relationship after only knowing this new guy for three teeny tiny weeks.

Big mistake.

I was totally into him, totally infatuated, and mistook that googly-eyed “OMG, he’s so hot and dreamy” feeling for the L-Word.

Not this L Word. The other one.

Anyway, I jumped in way too fast and fell way too hard before actually getting to know the guy and being able to make a fully thought-out decision. Again - BIG mistake.

The first month or so was sweet, sweet bliss. We were becoming closer, you know…buddies, confidants, lovaaaaaahs…it was so exciting and fresh and wonderful, as the beginning of any relationship should be. Read More »

Last night, while trying to drown my “summer’s over” blues by throwing myself into a TV coma, I happened across the newest installment of the Real World. This year, those crazy MTV producers decided to keep the gays away and set it in Australia. They also decided to put more girls in the house than boys, and make the minority to Caucasian ratio 1:6.

The only non-white person is Parisa Montazaran, a 21-year-old NYU student who’s one of the most normal girls MTV has ever allowed to grace their blingified channel.

Unfortunately, Parisa’s intellect was no match for the douchebag drama that prevails on that show every year.

During the episode (which was the third one of the season), it became painfully obvious that Parisa was crushing hard on a dude named Dunbar. While I will refrain from commenting on his name (it’s too easy), I will say that he made himself out to be a pretty obvious asshole—obvious to everyone except…you guessed it. Parisa. Read More »

Face it, there’s nothing worse than going out with a large group of girls. It’s social death — you inevitably get swallowed by or end up chained to your posse, most of whom probably look and dress similar to you. This summer, I suggest slimming down. Cut the fat and drop the entourage. They’re only stifling your potential.

I know it’s scary to tread social waters sans the company of twenty of your best best friends, but take a second to consider some people of the moment and their preferred going-out decorum. Lindsay: always with an entourage. Result? Rehab. Britney: entourage. Result: rehab. Paris: entourage. Result: jail. Read More »