I have a love/hate relationship with makeup.

On the one hand, I go into a drugstore and guaranteed I’m making a beeline for the makeup section. I can’t resist! The bright colors, the sparkle, the textures–man, just try and keep me away.

But once I put it on, it’s always kind of a let-down. No matter how perfect the application, it always looks…well, kind of fake.

So I’ve said it before, but this time I mean it: I am giving up makeup. And it will be glorious.

Here’s why:

(5) It’s bad for your skin.
You know it, I know it. The more crap you put on your face, the more likely you are to break out, and then the more makeup you need. Fact of life. I mean, that’s how they sell the stuff, right?

(4) Guys don’t wear it.
What the flip? Why are we covering ourselves in powders and paints when the boiz iz goop free? Foroget that!

(3) I’m tired of getting carded.
Look, I’m pushing 24. I really should not be getting carded at this point. Especially, I mean, I don’t smoke but I’ve had to buy cigarettes as props for plays (really!) and gotten carded. Do I look frickin’ 18?! I think make-up is largely at fault. Who wears a lot of makeup? Teenagers. Let’s stop freezing ourselves at 19, ladies! Off with the blush! Read More »

(SARA, 23, sits with her DAD, 57, in a Thai restuarant near Sara’s apartment, waiting for her MOM, also 57, to come back from the bathroom so they can get this show on the road.)

SARA
(impatient)
What’d she, fall in?

DAD
You look…different.

SARA
Oh yeah, I’m growing out my bangs.

DAD
(brightening)
Oh yeah?

SARA
…Yeah…

DAD
You know I’ve never been a fan of when you have bangs. Even when you were a little kid.

SARA
Yeah, I know.

DAD
But something else too… Read More »