Save your money and forget Lasik! Glasses are now so chic that those who originally considered themselves “blessed” with perfect vision drool over their blind companions’ stylish eyewear. If you want to embrace this trend but unfortunately have no prescription for glasses, don’t worry! You can destroy your eyesight simply by staring directly at the sun for ten minutes each day.

Ok, so I’m just kidding. But if you wish you could wear glasses, wish no more. This fall, fake reading glasses are all the rage. The Michael Kors fall 2008 runway collection featured several faux eyeglass wearing models who looked HOT (as in sexy librarian hot). Glasses were also spotted in several other runway shows, including Betsey Johnson and Carmen Marc Valvo.

If you’re going to purchase a pair of glasses (fake or prescription), it is important to find the right shape and color for your face. Generally, you should buy glasses with a shape in contrast to that of your face. If you don’t know what your face shape is, or what shape glasses would flatter your face, click here for a simple guide.

After you’ve figured out what shapes work for you, here are the top five eyeglass trends for fall. Hurry up and buy them before classes start. You want to look smart and studious when you meet your new professors! Read More »

Apparently, a freaky kind of shrimp wins best eyesight award.

Yeah, that’s right–the little scamp(i)s have better vision than every other freaking animal in the world. Go fig.

My favorite line in the article is “Just why Gonodactylus smithii needs this level of rarefied vision is unclear, although the researchers suspect it is to do with food and sex.” Because, really, what doesn’t have to do with food and sex?

But the article really got me thinking. I mean, I have bad vision. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was three years old. I now wear contacts, but, frankly, my astigmatism keeps them from being completely effective. But I wear ‘em anyway, because I am Vainy McVainstein. (Not to be confused with Veiny McVeinstein, who is a much less pleasant character.) But, as usual, I digress.

Here are the top 5 things I wish I could see (and which I WOULD see if God loved me and had let me be born as a shrimp):

(5) Robert Downey Jr. in his most, ahem, intimate moments. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 76
Mood: Amused

Daniel B sat down at the table across from me, setting a giant coffee cup in front of him and dropping some heavy books on the table.

“So, what page are those problems on that you wanted to take a look at?”

Just like Daniel, wasting no time getting down to business. Idle chatter made him uncomfortable. He could talk for hours about numbers and equations, but ask him about the weather or his favorite food and he’d tense up; his hands turning into fists and his adam’s apple sliding up and down in a constant rhythm.

I wondered if he had friends who he could relax with. I wondered if he had any friends at all.

“The ones on 154 and 159. I’ve been trying to do them on my own, but I don’t know if I’m getting the right answer.” Pushing my tea of the way, I set my own book on the small café table. I liked coming to the cafe at night. Even though it was inside the student center, it was mostly quiet after nine, and ever since that uncomfortable incident with Sasha and his “buddies”, I hadn’t seen a single person I recognized at any of the tables.

“These?” Daniel B. ran his finger down the page, pushing his glasses up with his other hand. “These are easy. You shouldn’t be having a problem.”

Another thing about Daniel B., he rarely filtered his thoughts from his mouth. Whatever he thought, he said. Even if it could be construed as insulting. Read More »

According to the scene on the runway, spectacles are going to be fall’s newest accessory. Does anybody else find it a little depressing that autumn trends have already been forecasted and it’s not even summer yet? It’s like department stores starting to play Christmas music before Halloween—downright depressing. Such is life. At least it gives us a little time to prepare, even though by the time we actually get there Spring lines will have already debuted. Ah fashion, what would we do without your nonsense?

But back to the glasses.

As you can see from the shots from Chris Benz and Miu Miu respectively, the look was very sexy librarian. “Glasses are a very covered-up way of saying something provocative,” said stylist Kate Young. You have to admit, there is something hot about subtle sexiness. Why do you think the librarian has been a staple male fantasy since the beginning of time, or maybe just Playboy? There’s just something hot about potential, the moment when the “nerd” shakes out her hair, ditches her glasses for contacts, and nabs the student body president. Wait, was that the plot to “She’s All That”…? Read More »